


moral of the story.

by hopclair



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Lovers to Friends, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 24,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23661928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopclair/pseuds/hopclair
Summary: el hopper has a hunch that mike isn't in love with her anymore,so she only waits for him to break her heart to bits.
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair
Comments: 45
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! this is my first ever fic... whew. i’m a bit nervous but i’m a bit excited. i’m going through a breakup so hopefully this will... help me cope i guess? anyways. please enjoy this! 
> 
> ps. i’m writing this on wattpad too. but i’m used to writing on here and i wanted to post it here.

el knew that she was foolish. el knew that from the bottom of her heart. she wanted to turn a blind eye to the obvious signs but she couldn't. only an absolute idiot wouldn't catch on.

maybe it was the hopeless romantic in her. they had been together since middle school and they were on their freshman year in college. she knew michael wheeler from the inside, out. el knew his favorite color, she knew his favorite movie, she knew his favorite authors and his favorite season of the year. and in her mind, that was enough to make him stay. she saw how max and lucas made it work throughout the years and she had hopes that it'd be the same for them too.

they were a team. they've always been a team. she had pushed him on the swings when they were six and nobody else wanted to. she was toothy grins and giggles when he'd ask her how she was so strong. she replied that her daddy gave her milk every single morning and that her bones were stronger than his. he laughed and they played for hours.

he was the one that asked her to homecoming when they were barely fourteen and kissed her out of the blue. she was wide eyes and red cheeks, until soon -- they broke out in shy laughter. that was the beginning of them as a couple and el could never forget that night. mike was an awful dancer, but she felt like she was cinderella and he was her prince charming.

but they're not five anymore and she's not cinderella anymore. she's el hopper, twenty-one, waitress and college student. it seems like time simply escapes from their hands and both of them are too busy to even send a text sometimes. and by both, she means michael. she can't go to bed without saying goodnight and i love you.

they barely spend time together and they're both dorming in the same college. and el tries hard. she tries harder than anybody because she knows that they can make it work. she knows that the butterflies in her stomach are still there, even after all these years, because she's still in love with the lanky twenty-two year old. but she can feel him trailing away. she can feel the red string of fate slowly tearing and she doesn't know what to do with herself.

el would text him and ask to have lunch together, but he'd always be busy. at least that's what she told herself. she didn't want to think that the person that she loved most in this world was lying to her face. she would lay beside him at times, cuddling to his side and offer to sleep in. she'd get excited and ramble about movies, shows that they could start but he'd always stand up with a shake of his head and talk about how he needed to keep his attendance perfect. the young woman would be lying if she said that those words didn't hurt her every single time.

and when he'd say yes, it was like he wasn't there. el would ramble about her lecture, talking about how interesting the class had went and his eyes would simply dim out. he'd zone out, looking at whatever was near and she knew that his attention was no longer there with her. she'd always swallow the lump in her throat and wave her hands in-front of him.

"hey, are you okay?" she'd question and his own sweater comes into his line of view. he'd jump in surprise, his curls following and he'd scratch the back of his neck. he wasn't paying attention to her at all. she looks over at him and she catches how he's glancing at another girl. that makes her throat burn and she looks back at him. she doesn't have the will to even say anything.

he reaches for her hand and brushes her knuckles gently. "i'm fine, el. i promise. i'm just thinking about this really hard english test i have later and it's making me all jittery. do you think we can catch up later?" he asks, eyes shifting and she knows what he's looking at.

"yeah. that's fine." she says and he's grabbing his books without a second thought. she forces herself to smile. sixteen-year-old michael wheeler wouldn't leave her. he'd notice how she was forcing herself to smile and he'd crack one of his dry jokes. oh, how she missed those days.

"i love you, you're the best." he says, books in his arms and he's planting a kiss on the top of her head. she had dyed her hair a shade lighter last night and even curled her hair. she was hoping that he'd say something about it. yet it never came.

she's chewing on her lower lip, looking down at her fingers and she's fiddling. she wished that she could be like max sometimes. she wish that she could've caused a scene and asked him what he was doing looking at that other girl. she wished she could be a loud ass like her dad and question what was going on between them. but she couldn't. it was hard. this wasn't any stranger. this was michael wheeler. the person who knew her better than anybody. 

at least she hoped.

the brunette throws a glance over her shoulder and she genuinely wished that she hadn't done that. mike's all caught up with the girl from earlier and she's smiling a little too bright. she has long blonde hair and she has twinkling green eyes. she has a hand over his shoulder and mike's smile matches hers. she knew that the other would never cheat, but she also knew that he was oblivious enough to not realize when he had feelings for somebody else.

she gathers the strength to grab her backpack and make her way to her dorm. she had finished her classes for the day and she was thankful that she chose early classes. she was free from work today so that only gave her more room to think and wonder what would happen between them. el was always the one that comforted. when dustin and suzie took a break, she was there for dustin like no other. when max and lucas bickered, she'd always hear them out. but now that she's in their spot, she feels like curling into a ball and sobbing her eyes out.

is this what heartbreak felt like?

is this what writers called heartbeat in their throat and clammy hands? because she feels like she can't hold the keys to her dorm without trembling and she knows what's coming.

el hopper was a dreamer. she was always positive. but she wasn't blind to reality.

and michael wheeler wasn't in love with her anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

there's rain on her windowpane and the entire room is absolutely dimmed down. she's on her bed, curled in a ball under the sheets and she's simply thinking about what was going on. it's been a few days since they had met up and she couldn't stop thinking about the smile he gave the other girl. that smile that brightened her every day was soon to not be hers. 

she had no idea how she didn't see the signs when they were obviously there. there was a side of her that wanted to ignore all of the signs, but the first thing that came in her mind was skin ship. it was something that eased her every thought and it was something that came naturally. during their whole relationship, el constantly reached out for him. it was a necessity to feel her lanky boyfriend beside her and it's been that way since they were kids. 

as children, she was often nervous around others and she'd reach for his hand. when dustin shared stories and will brought weird toys to the playground, she'd always hide behind the boy with wide curious eyes. lucas would always tease them and say that mike would catch cooties from hanging out with el so much. 

_"el wouldn't give me cooties! right, el?" mike asks her and he's almost praying that she says no. she shakes her head, curls bouncing and she has a wide smile. she wouldn't give mike cooties._

_"right!" she says with a bright smile and he's sighing in relief. dustin, lucas and will furrow their eyebrows together. they're only eight-years-old and they're pretty sure that all girls has cooties._

_"why doesn't el have cooties? she's a girl!" dustin questions and mike's quick to rise to her defense._

_"because she's always with us, duh!"_

and as teenagers, she found herself needing him. she was fond of the party as a whole and their latest addition that happened to be max, but there was a comfort that mike had that nobody in this world could possibly could compare to. her mother, terry ives, had fallen terribly ill and el was having an extremely hard time processing it. she hated seeing her mother in the hospital, plugged to machines and having to see her dad fake a smile for her sake. she needed someone to hold onto to, and that somebody was mike. 

her dad was almost always at the hospital and that left el alone most of the time. it wasn't that she didn't want to see her mom but the thought of seeing her sick, made her feel empty inside. mike would often try to distract her, holding her in his arms and she'd brush her fingers on his cheeks. she brushed her thumb on their eyebrow, all the way to his jaw. she has glassy eyes and she's trying to engrave him in her memory. she's hoping that he won't fade away too.

"i won't leave." he whispers to her. it's comforting. comforting enough that she bursts out in tears and he holds her. he holds her tight and lets her know that he's there for her. that he'll always be there for her. and he was there when terry passed away, he was there when she rebelled and tried cigarettes. he was there when she got her act together and applied for college. mike wheeler was there through it and the thought that he might not, sent a cold shiver down her spine. 

from hiding behind his shoulder, to being held in his arms and now being greeted with a kiss on her forehead really hit el hard. she could see the lack of emotions and interest. at times, he'd brush his thumb on her knuckles but even then it felt like cold water being poured on her. 

  
el had sent her professors an email about needing a few days off, how she felt and how she would report her works online. they didn't complain and if she was honest, she didn't care if they did. she's holding the void in her chest and she's only thinking. she's only wishing that this is a bad dream and that when she wakes up, she'll be wrapped around mike's arms. 

but it wasn't. 

the messy brunette turns to her bedside with the buzz of her phone and she hates how her eyes instantly go to their framed pictures. there's pictures of them at the snowball dance, where he looks a little too lanky and she's so small by his side. she can't help the small laugh that leaves her mouth. her eyes are glassy but she keeps looking. there's pictures of them at prom, him spinning her and she was wearing this too pink dress that had caught her eye weeks before. there was even a picture of them simply laying around, where she was in her pajamas and he was making one of his idiotic faces. she doesn't notice how tears had slip through and how she was crying over this again. it was funny how you think somebody is your world and you simply mold your entire world around them, not knowing that they can disappear. 

her phone buzzes and that's what catches her eye. she reaches for it and the lock screen even taunts her. it's a picture of mike, playing with one of dustin's toys and he has too wide of a smile. she unlocks her phone, only to see that he's the one that texted her. 

mike: are you okay?  
mike: max said you haven't gone to class  
mike: do you feel sick?

  
yeah, she feels utterly sick. she feels like her whole world is crashing on her shoulders and she feels like she should've mentally prepared herself for this. they weren't childhood sweethearts that eventually got married and lived in a house with twenty dogs. she throws her phone aside and covers her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. 

yet once she realizes that it's actually his sweater, she's bawling into the sleeve. 

she can't stop the tears and she feels like everything is splitting in half. she feels like screaming until her lungs can't hold no more. the door to her dorm is torn open and she's greeted with max's loud laughter. that instantly makes her cry harder. she was going to make max's life harder with all this breakup talk and probably bother her. 

"and i told her that my hair was natural and she didn't belie--- el?" her roommate instantly questions and she's stopping in her tracks. all she sees is el, in a too large sweater, hiccuping and she can't help but scatter to her side. "hey, hey. what happened? talk to me." she says, sitting on the edge of her bed and el's scared to even speak. if she speaks it into existence, there's a chance that it might come true. and god, that would fucking suck. 

  
"ellie, are you okay?" lucas asks and his question is innocent, but the nickname has her sobbing once again. she feels max rub her leg comfortingly and she knows that the other is trying her best to help. she appreciates it. even if she can't sputter a word right now. there's a few more minutes of silence, where she simply cries into the damp sleeve and soon, she's sitting. this time, actually facing her friends and forcing herself to smile. she has beet red eyes and her nose won't stop running. (god, she needs to rip this sweater off.)

"was it mike?" max presses tenderly and el, dried of tears, only nods. 

lucas is sitting across them, on max's bed and he's simply watching both of the girls interact. 

when el nods, max is instantly standing up and muttering but el holds her back. "let me kill him." the fiery redhead mutters under her breath and el shakes her head. she's pulled back onto el's bed and this time, she's facing max. their hands are laced together. 

"i-i think mike and i are going to break up." she speaks and her voice is absolutely broken. it's obvious that she's been crying for hours on end and that it's still something that's bothering her deeply. (of course it is, this is who she thought her soulmate was.)

"what- why?" lucas asks, he's shocked at the news. el and mike had never broken up. not even as a joke. el hopper talked about mike wheeler like he hung the stars on the sky and mike wheeler talked about her like she was his universe. "are you going to break up with him?"

"no. he's changing with me." she says and the look on both of their faces explains it. they don't understand what she means. "we were having lunch together and he was looking at this girl while i was talking with him-"

"that dickhead!" max says, interrupting el. soon she mutters, "sorry."

el takes a minute before continuing. "i know that boys like looking around and girls do that too. it's normal. humans have eyes. they're made to look. but his eyes don't sparkle the way they used to. and his touch isn't as it was. and he's so different with me... it's hard to describe what i'm feeling into words because god fucking knows i'm not an english major like mike-" the girl laughs but it's dry. it holds no emotion. "i know it's coming soon." 

"but, you guys are perfect together..." lucas says, not understanding anything and el throws him a small forced smile. 

"we were." she answers back, trying her hardest not to burst out into tears. "i feel like laying down. is that okay with you guys?"  
"do you want us to leave? i'm pretty sure that will's cool with us crashing there." lucas questions the girl and she instantly shakes her head. she doesn't want to be a bother to her friends. plus, she wasn't going to kick out max out her own room. 

"it's okay. i promise. you guys can stay. i'm just going to try to get some sleep." she replies and she's waving them off. but if there's anything that the girl knows about this couple, is that they'd never leave her feeling sad. and they would never leave her alone crying. 

"you bet your ass we're staying." max says, almost shocking el. "do you want to cuddle?"

the breath that's caught between her lungs is finally free and she's nodding at her question. she really needed somebody right now, and she didn't want to call her dad because she knew that he'd be here with a gun to hunt mike down. the two girls are comfortably getting into their places when lucas shifts on the other bed awkwardly.

"do you want me to leave?" he asks and max shakes her head instantly. 

"a thing i've learned about el hopper is that she loves cuddling. and that the more, the merrier. so come on. el's middle spoon." she says and el can't help the laugh that leaves her mouth. it's like they're in high school again and they're huddling under mike's fort. this trio was one for the books in el's eyes. and she was thankful that they were supporting her through this time. even if lucas was too tall for el's bed and max had ways of getting her hair in el's eyes. 

her phone buzzes again and max grabs it without a second thought. lucas, who's the closest to the window and the farthest to the bedside asks. "who is it?"

"mike." max simply replies.

"shouldn't you answer?" lucas asks and el's shaking her head. 

"i should, but i won't." she says and she's already closing her eyes. "i'm preparing my heart for when it comes. so please bear with me for the next few months, yeah?" 

"you know i always got your back, ellie." max says tenderly, planting a kiss on her shoulder and el appreciates it. she loves her so much. she loves both of them so much.

"thank you too, lucas." she says and soon, she's drifting asleep. it doesn't take long for her to fall asleep and it doesn't take long for max to text mike back. 

**max: she's fine. she doesn't feel good. she's with me.**


	3. Chapter 3

michael wheeler knew that he was messing everything up. he knew that by the way that el had been distant for a few days and how no matter how hard he tried to text her, the conversation didn't seem to flow. it's a little after eight and he's already thrown his phone to the side. mike, like his girlfriend, had way too many pictures of them. well, he had too many pictures of her. mike can't help but stare at them.

there's one of her at his parents' house and she's holding holly on her lap. they're both smiling wide in that photo and they're both in their pajamas. she was sleeping over and he remembers the fond feeling when he saw both of his favorite girls sleeping on the sofa.

the other picture is smaller than the other, but it's nothing less than special. this time, they're alone and they're in a sunflower field. mike had planned a surprise road trip for their anniversary and she couldn't stop smiling. in the photo, she's clutching a sunflower in her hands and he catches the red bracelet on her right wrist. that made him swallow the lump in his throat and look away from them.

mike couldn't help but feel guilty with the thoughts that had meddled in his mind yet he couldn't stop thinking. he wanted to stop it, more than anything, but curiosity had him by the throat and he wanted more. he was an english major and he had been assigned to read thousands of books, books where they spoke about adventures and the feeling of being free. he'd read with enthusiasm how the main protagonist felt about hooks ups and drinking out.

and it was normal. these things happen. trust him, he's googled and thought he's a bad guy for weeks now until he realized that he wasn't. college wasn't high school and this town was nowhere like hawkins. hawkins was a small town that had more trees than people, they weren't any fancy bars that weren't crowded by slimy old men and it was a town where everybody knew everybody.

and now, he's here. in a town where nobody knows him, in a college where there's so many faces that he can't recognize that he's overwhelmed. and he wants to explore. he wants to venture out and see what he's been missing out all these years.

he was only twenty-two years old and he had stuck by the same girl since he was a kid. which wasn't bad. he would never say that el being by his side burdened him. but he felt like he missed out on so many experiences. he missed out on talking with other girls and dates gone wrong. he loved eleanor to death and nobody could compare. but he wanted to experience the whole college experience. the getting drunks and kissing random girls without a worry.

"are you still thinking about, el?" dustin questioned. he's on the other end of the room and he can see tell by the furrow of his best friend's eyebrows. mike couldn't stop playing with his hair and that was distracting dustin from finishing his science paper. "or are you thinking about angela?"

angela. that was the name in question. she was the girl that had him scattering even while his girlfriend was right in front of him. he wanted to say that he didn't know why she caught his eye, but he knows why. angela was nothing but el. el was quiet, kept to herself and she was somewhat closed off - while angela was bold, outspoken and snarky. she loved debating with him and that excited him.

"i don't know. i think both? i don't know man." mike answers in utter frustration and he's looking over at his best friend. the dorky then kid was now a biology major and his walking diary. "don't you ever feel like you're missing out on the full college experience by being tied down?"

"i'm very happy in my current relationship and i'm not going to ruin that by feeding into stupid experiences." he comments and the other quickly throws him a glance. dustin sighs and he's pushing the laptop to the side, now fully paying attention to his best friend. "sometimes, i won't lie. but i remember that suzie is working hard for me and i'm working hard for her. and pretty girls won't change that. i can still get wasted and smoke. i don't have to break up with her for that."

and mike understands his points. "i love eleanor hopper more than anything. but we've been together since we were kids, dustin. i think i want some time for myself. i want to get wasted and kiss random girls-"

dustin cuts him off. "you want to break your best friend's heart to possibly contact a disease?"

that earns him a glare and dustin can't help but laugh.

"you're not helping. at all. and i'm not catching any disease."

"well. i'm the only one you can really talk about this with. lucas, max and will are biased. mostly because max and lucas spend too much time in those dorms and will's overprotective over his sister. so, you're stuck with me." dustin states and mike hates how he's right about everything.

god damn, biology majors.

"i guess you're right... what should i do?" the tallest of the two questions and dustin shrugs at his question.

"i don't know, mike. if i were you... i wouldn't throw something this important down the drain."

"i'm not throwing it in the drain. i just... need a break." he sighs once again and dustin can't help the snort that leaves his body.

"oh my god, you sound like ross."

mike throws his pillow at him, obviously annoyed by the friends reference and he grunts. he grabs his phone and he's standing from the comfortable bed.

"where are you going?"

"i'm going to call nancy, i'm hoping that she gives better advice than you do." he says, dragging his feet to the door and he feels when the other flips him off. he's known him since they were kids. he knew him better than anything.

mike's closing the door behind him and he's leaning on the wall beside the door comfortably. he's unlocking his phone and he's trying to ignore the fact that el is displayed on her homescreen. he quickly goes to his contacts and he's calling his sister.

when he raises his phone to his ear and his eyes catches the red bracelet on his wrist. it's a simple red string and it has nothing but a bead with the letter e. his girlfriend had one that had the letter m and he felt so guilty even making this call.

_"consider it our red spring of fate!" seventeen year old el says. she's raising the matching bracelets. holly had inspired her into getting into bracelet making and he found it so endearing._

_they currently laid on el's bed and she's excitedly showing him._

_he furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "red string of fate?"_

_"soulmates. it means we're soulmates."_

he leans over and plants a soft kiss on her lips.

"hello? mike? are you there?" nancy questions through the phone and he's snapping back into the reality.

"nancy! hey! sorry for calling this late. you were probably taking a nap." he says, apologizing and his sister is instantly shaking him off. nancy had been dealing with his niece these days and he'd been scared to interrupt her.

"it's fine, trust me. zoe's sleeping. but are you okay?" nancy questions. they were more of the texting type so when they called each other, it was obvious that something was happening. "did you break something? did you drop out?"

"what? no, no--" he answers, almost surprised. "i just need some advice. is that cool?"

"yeah, yeah. what's up?" she answers but he can hear clanking in the background. she's probably serving herself a drink or making dinner. who really knew.

"nancy." he says, swallowing. "when you were in college... did you ever feel overwhelmed?"

"by work? of course. it's college, mike. not high school." she laughs at his question and he shakes his head in frustration

she can't see you, dumbass.

"by your relationship." he says, almost in a whisper and nancy's gone absolutely silent. he feels the anxiety creeping on his toes.

"you... want to break up with el?" she asks, almost in shock and he chews on her lower lip. "did something happened between you two?"

"no, no. nothing happened. i promise. i just... i want to be myself for a while. or finding out who i am for a while."

"you want to hook up with other girls?" she questions and he hates how everybody keeps assuming that. he just wants to be able to experience the whole thing.

"no! no. i just. el has been my everything for years, nancy... and i just want to get out there." he says, once again feeling guilt and nancy catches his tone switch. she lets out a small sigh.

"wheelies." nancy says softly, using his childhood nickname. "when i was in college, i felt the same way. i saw so many pretty girls, pretty guys, i felt like i was going to pass out. trust me. it's not bad to feel this way. but you have to talk with her about it... obviously, if she hasn't caught up yet."

mike listens.

"el hopper has a mind of her own. she knows you better than you know yourself... just be careful, mike."

"be careful?" he questions and he's about to open his mouth again when he's interrupted.

"you never know what might happen between the two of you at the end. that's the risky part." nancy speaks and he feels himself take a small intake. "you never know if el finds somebody else while you're discovering your true self."

that makes his throat dry.

"do you think you can handle el being with somebody else?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to the person that told me to kill myself.. enjoy this chapter. ❤️

el knew that she couldn't hide through texts and assignments forever. it was obvious that this was taking a toll on her, she had been showing up to class with bags under her eyes and most of the times she'd even leave the session early. she'd hide behind hoodies that were actually hers, sweats and whichever shoes she could find on her way out. the red string bracelet clung to her wrist and at times, she could feel it burn her skin. metaphorically, of course.

she was thankful that mike and her shared no classes together. because god knows that she wouldn't be able to even face him without bursting out in tears. at least, that's what she though at first. but soon the days passed and she was slowly growing thick in her skin. she had to rip this band-aid off and deal with it. what the hell this exactly was. because she didn't know, mike wasn't vocal about it either -- but they could both feel something was wrong.

that's why she's sitting at a table under one of the willow trees and she's chewing on her lower lip. el had thrown him a text asking to meet her at their spot and her leg was jumbling with anxiety. god, she really wished that she didn't have to go through this. she never thought that she'd ever have to go through this.

her thoughts are interrupted almost instantly by the drop of a familiar backpack and soon, he's sitting across her. the boy that owned her heart was wearing a red beanie and he's in one of the hoodies that she had bought for him. el's eyes go wide when she sees him actually turn up out of the blue and he lets out a single laugh. it's forced. like he knows he messed up.

"you look like you weren't expecting me."

"almost like i'm surprised that you gave me the time of day." el says and she knows that it sounds like a jab. she can see it in the way that his face falls and she's sighing. she hates this. she hates the tension between them. "i'm sorry, that came out extremely wrong."

mike shakes his head and he's instantly reassuring her. "no. no. it's fine. i haven't been the best boyfriend lately."

why does he have to be so _nice_?

michael reaches for her hand, the one that has the matching bracelet and she feels her heart fall to her stomach. she almost doesn't want to rip the band-aid out. "max told me that you were sick.. have you been feeling better?"

no. she doesn't feel good.

the brunette pulls her hand back and a coldness sweeps her body. he notices the visible discomfort coming from her body and he has a nudge in which this direction this conversation was going. "max lied to you. i wasn't sick."

"what?" he asks with a furrow of his brow and he looks somewhat hurt. el swallows the lump in her throat and she feels her eyes water. she really doesn't want to do this.

"i asked you to come here because we need to talk." she says, her heart thumps loudly in her rib cafe and she feels like her entire world is crashing on her shoulders. "michael, i know something is going on with you. and i noticed that your glance leaves when some girls swing by. and i know that's normal. but the other day, we were supposed to study together and you rushed to meet up with a girl." she's unwinding her feelings and she knows that she's going to start crying. "and you can have friends, mike. but you were smiling so bright that.. i realized that we need to take a break."

_"do you think we'll ever break up?" fourteen-year-old eleanor asks. they're sitting on her bed, listening to old songs and they're sharing hidden kisses. the teenage girl's mom is making dinner and unlike hopper, she wouldn't freak out about mike being in her room._

_"i don't think so. we're going to be together until we're old. like your mom and your dad." mike teases and el nudges him. a string of giggles leaving her mouth._

_"my parents aren't old! your dad's old! what type of name is ted?"_

_mike laughs at her comments and soon they're back to sharing innocent kisses. terry can't help the smile that's on her face when she hears their giggles._

his throat runs dry and he feels his heart fall. he absolutely hates that she's caught between the lines and by the looks of it, she's trying her best to unwind herself from this situation. her shoulders are absolutely tense and her leg won't stop jiggling. her hates that he's made her nervous, but he's sure that he hates the words that leave her mouth more. mike claimed that he wanted a break and wanted to feel the whole college experience, yet he felt like he was making the worst decision in his life. (and he's done a lot of shit.)

"you're not in love with me anymore or you're going through something... i don't know." she speaks and it hurts how that she doesn't know what's going through his mind. "but we need to take a break. or at least i do. because if you're not into this relationship, i don't think that i can keep going with it."

mike swallows the lump in his throat and his eyes water by her words. she catches the sight and she almost wants to retract her words. but she knows that she can't. she knows that he has to work something out. something that she doesn't know.

el sneaks a glance at her phone and she doesn't have a single class. but she can't stand being around him. she feels the need to cry clutching her bones and she has to leave. she has to leave before the entire campus catches her crying over this dumb break.

"i have to go to class, mike. i'll see you around." she lies and she's instantly standing up. she's grabbing her phone and her bag, when he's reaching for her wrist. the red string burns.

"wait el-" he says and she's pulling her wrist from his grasp.

"mike. don't make this harder, okay? just go to class and text me when you realize what you want to do." she says and he can hear her voice cracking. she's not facing him anymore.

"eleanor."

"michael. let me go." she says and when his touch is no longer on her skin, she's making his way to the dorms. her head is hung low and she can't help but let tears speed down her face. if she was honest, she didn't want to go to the dorms. she wanted to drive to hawkins and forget everything about everything.

but hawkins was mike and mike is her everything.

was her everything.

as he watches the girl push through the doors, he feels like he's watching his entire soul being ripped apart.

but isn't this what he wanted?

he chews on his lower lip and he doesn't have the will to move from their spot. they labeled it their spot after having their first lunch there as college students. the thought makes him sick to his stomach and before he knows it, he's swinging his backpack over his shoulder and he's making his way to his own dorm.

what the hell did he just do?


	5. Chapter 5

the breakup wasn't in her agenda. obviously. things like these are never ever planned. the days turned into weeks and for the first weeks, it's absolute hell for the university student. el realizes how dependent she is on him and how much of her time he took up. obviously. he was her best friend and eventual boyfriend. but it was crazy. her closet is only his clothes and her camera roll is pictures of the annoying english major. and when the realization hits her, el's left sobbing in her sheets. she spends most of the days sleeping a little too much and her grades start slipping. 

max finds herself throwing glances every single time that she walks in their room and el is under the sheets. the spunky redhead's worried about her best friend. she notices how she's not even going to their shared classes and she eventually sits her down. el frowns, instantly apologizing and she eventually bursts out in tears again. max eventually comes with the idea that they only sleep when they're both in the room and her sleeping schedule slowly tweaks itself. 

the party was in an uncomfortable shift. the boys watched as mike slumped and lashed at anybody that would second guess him. it was a huge mess between the exes and the others were glad that they haven't crossed paths. the party had agreed to not sharing what the others were doing. because mike did answer his curiosities. he had gone out, gotten way too drunk and he had kissed so many girls that he felt like everybody knew who he was.

and if he was honest, it wasn't anything like it was in the books.

it wasn't anything special and michael couldn't help but compare every single girl with el. 

and it was ironic. 

extremely ironic. 

weeks had turned into two months and el was slowly unwinding herself. neither of them had contacted each other and el didn't even realize that this break was good to her too. she had gone out to places too. she found herself going to nearby coffee shops and studying in other places that weren't the library. it didn't seem like much but she was slowly peering out of her shell. she had hid behind mike all these years, she had been hiding from max all these weeks and now she felt like she was slowly finding herself. 

it was a friday afternoon and the brunette was fixing herself up. she was eyeing her entire body and she was hoping that she looked good. this outfit choice wasn't her ideal type but she felt like she was branching out in styles. she had heard about what mike was doing and if she was absolutely honest, it hurt like hell. but she had to do it too. she had to put herself out there. 

from her long skirts and (his) tied band tees, she had switched to a plaid skirt and a baby pink shirt. at least for tonight. she even bought some white converse to match. el felt ridiculous but the brunette thought that it was a nice try. at least for tonight. 

she had followed will's advice and decided on a blind date. to get out there. 

her best friend opens the door, throwing her backpack on her bed and she's grinning when she sees el. "oh! where are we going?" max had just come back from a study date with lucas and she was expecting everything but this. "you look like a barbie doll."

"is that bad? i can change." el instantly says, her hands about to pull her skirt and max instantly stops her. she's laughing at her friends nerves. 

"no, el. you look good. but where are you going? especially with that short skirt? do you have a hot date?" max asks, jumping on her bed and she's wiggling her eyebrows. the girl rolls her eyes and she's back to fixing her entire look. she even puts a ribbon in her hair. she looks nice. 

"i have a date. well, kinda. i don't think of it as a date. will downloaded an app on my phone and i'm going to meet up with somebody. it's not a date and i really made that clear... but i still want to look pretty, you know? i've been sulking for the last two months." el states. "and i thought that it'd be nice to try a nice style. nothing is going to happen, you sinner." she sticks her tongue out and they're both giggling at her reaction. 

"where are you guys even meeting? what's his name?" max questions and el is patting down her skirt. she's even applies lip gloss. max is studying her close. 

"we're meeting by the coffee shop... and his name... is actually her name." el says, careful with her reaction and max is yelping but it's not bad. she's excited on the other hand. 

"a girl?! el!" 

"you look so cute, if she's ugly... run!" max says and the two of them are giggling like school girls. el reaches out and she's slapping her shoulder. they can't stop laughing and for once, it feels like el.. is actually el. 

after a few minutes of teasing, el was finally on her way to the coffee shop. she's wearing max's denim jacket and she's smiling excitedly. it doesn't take more than twenty minutes for her to walk to the coffee shop and el's opening the door without a second thought. she's looking around the shop and she catches the girl on the farther right. she waves at el and she's smiling. 

the girl makes her way to the stranger and she smiles. "hi, i'm el." 

"i assumed so. my name's maya." she introduces herself and maya is really pretty. she has green eyes and she has blonde hair. they had been chatting for a few days and el was keen on telling her that she had just gotten out of a relationship. that she only wanted friends. and maya said the absolute same. so it worked out perfectly. 

"i like the look, it's different from your profile." maya says as the other sits down and el laughs shyly. "it's cute." 

"thank you. i was trying something new." 

"hold on, your hair--" 

maya reaches out and she's fixing the brunette's hair behind her ear. that makes el blush.

"shut up." 

the date is going absolutely well, at least that's what she thinks. maya is a communications mayor and she can't help but wonder if she likes people that talk. maya has been rambling about books for a good twenty minutes and el likes listening. she really does. she's so involved with maya that she doesn't see mike walking in the coffee shop and catching her right there.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: catcalling. i don't want to trigger anybody.. so read with caution. please skip it if you're not comfortable. i promise you're not going to miss much. <3

the date goes absolutely well. at least in el's eyes. maya and el spoke about their respectable breakups and even cried. maya complained about her eyeliner and el simply called her pretty. eleanor was open to date anybody but she knew that this wasn't the time to be involved with anybody since she was still so in love with mike. 

the coffee shop is closing and maya's saying goodbye with a kiss on her cheek. it has her cheeks bright red and maya calls her cute. she offered el a ride to the dorms, but she neglected it. it was only a fifteen minute walk and the streets were empty. she was sure of it. 

and that's when she's wrong. the streets when mike was beside her were empty. he wasn't scary but he was tall and he was somewhat intimidating. and she shouldn't have said no to maya's offering. she's wrapping the denim jacket around her body and she hears steps. she feels a presence behind her and she's quietly praying that nothing will happen.

"woah, hey. are you looking for somebody?" it's a deep voice and she's slowly rushing her steps. she's swallowing the knot in her throat and she's hoping that he leaves her alone if she ignores him. these were the moments she wished that mike was around.

she's holding her skirt down and scattering.

"i'm talking to you, baby. turn around."

her eyes are watering and she really wishes that somebody was around. 

she's being grabbed by her arm and a yelp leaves her mouth. she's squeezing her eyes shut and she feels her heart thumping loudly in her chest. her anxiety is rising and she feels like throwing up. she shouldn't have come, she shouldn't have come, she shouldn't have co-

"hey, **asshole**! get your hands off my _girlfriend_." 


	7. Chapter 7

eleanor has a cold can of beer in her hands and she's sitting beside the bruised english major on the sidewalk. it's midnight, her anxiety has finally died down and she's pressing the cold object on his bruise. he winces and she can't help the small laugh that leaves her mouth. max's denim jacket is on her legs and so is mike's brown jacket. the tallest of the two wasn't that beat up, but the bruise he had on the side of his face was pretty nasty. but she appreciated it. el appreciated him coming to her defense.

"you remind me of steve." she jokes, trying to ease the tension and mike only grunts.

"please. in all three fights steve was in, he only won once. plus, the other guy looks like shit compared to me."

michael wheeler wasn't the strongest and he wasn't built to destroy anybody. he was more lank and clumsiness than anything in the world. the young brunette remembers when they were kids and troy would push on the party. she remembers the scab on mike's chin and how the girl was sent home after breaking his wrist. terry was absolutely horrified while hopper was impressed.

but the words that he's saying are true.

mike pulled el from the stranger's grasp and even went ahead to pushing him to the concrete.

"is this bitch yours?" the stranger asks. he's thrown on the concrete yet he still looks at el's legs.

"she looks pretty good in that short skirt."

those were the words that make mike snap and el watches as he's throwing himself to the stranger. el is in shock until she's back in reality, and she's trying her best to rip mike from the stranger.

"i like the new look." mike says, trying his best to look over at her. it's hard with a damn can on his face.

"really? cause i think i hate it." el confesses with a laugh and mike shakes his head.

"you always look good, so it's fine." he says and it's almost like they're back in the loop. almost like they're back in a relationship. that's what crosses their minds and soon they're both quiet.

he's holding the source of cool and she's holding onto the jackets. it's extremely late. el could tell by how the moon glowed. she didn't bother checking her phone and it seemed like michael didn't either. she really didn't think that her friday would end up like this. or her saturday would start out like this. michael wheeler with a bruise, her buying a cold can of beer and her hating her outfit.

"your date. she was really pretty." he compliments and it breaks the silence between them. "i've seen her around campus." there's a lump on her throat and she's looking down at her fingers.

she has no reason to feel guilty. michael did the same thing and he probably did worse with those girls. she didn't know.

"maya?"

"yeah. she was pretty." mike compliments. he knew that eleanor was really open to anybody and everybody. she had a giant heart and whoever caught her eye, was a lucky one. let it be a girl or a boy. "i think you two looked good together."

el shakes her head. the ribbon on the top of her head following her rhythm. "she was gorgeous. but it wasn't a date. it was more of a friendly meet-up where we opened up about everything and anything. i have a feeling she'll be a great friend."

the fact that they're only friends and that it wasn't a date, has mike hopeful. "oh."

there's silence once again and el takes a look at him. he's thoughtful and she takes a chance to look at the bruise. that bruise is going to rise questions between the parties and anybody he might know. el didn't say thank you, but she knows that he knows that she's absolutely thankful. she genuinely didn't know what would happen if he wasn't there. it felt like everything that hopper had taught her flew to the back of her head.

"do you want me to take you home?" she questions with a small smile. she hates awkward silences. especially between the person she loved the most. (beside her dad.)

michael laughs at her words, wincing when he does. "i should be asking you the same thing."

"i'm more worried about you." el confesses and mike's looking over at her. there's tenderness in her tone and she can see the same in his eyes. he's bruised but he's so beautiful. her throat feels dry. she's so in love with him.

"if i'm honest, i really don't want to go anywhere... is it okay if we stay here?" he questions.

"infront of the mini mart?" she jokes but she knows what he means.

you and me. alone.

she stands up and the jackets are slung over her shoulder. she's reaching out for his hand, the red bracelet slipping into view and he's reaching for her hand. his own bracelet connecting with hers.

the girl is guiding them out of the streets and soon enough, they're back at the university. they were in one of the prettiest places of the whole campus. at least in her eyes. it was by one of the many fountains and she feels like the silence makes her racing heart obvious to mike. and he feels the exact same way. he feels his heart race.

they sit by it's side and the dropping water is almost calming to them. they're still holding hands and the can is long forgotten. he's holding it by his side and his attention is all on el. they're going to talk about their feelings. she can feel it. he can feel it too.

"i heard that you've been partying it up." el says, looking over at their hands and she's unsure if she should even be holding it. there's so many things going on in her mind.

"y-you have?"she nods and mike feels guilty.

"max should be quieter on the phone. she would angrily chew off lucas' ear about how you kissed two girls, three girls, four girls, five girls." she says and her voice breaks. she has tears in her eyes. he wants to open his mouth but he can't. "but i guess that you're discovering what you want... yet i'm hopeful because you're still wearing the bracelet." el says, tugging onto the accessory gently and she's laughing at herself bitterly.

"you're wearing it too."

"because i'm still in love with you, michael wheeler. and you don't deserve me." she says harshly. it hurts him. but she's right. "at least that's what max says. but it's hard. really hard. because you occupy my every thought and god, i wish that i could hate you." she's letting go of his hands and she's starting to let tears slip by. she's opening about her feelings and he doesn't dare to stop her. "i know that we've been stuck in hawkins forever. we've been together forever and you see all these pretty girls and i know that they're prettier than me--" she says and he's cutting her off.

"no, stop. el." he says and he's reaching out for her face. he's cupping her cheek with his hand and he's wiping the tear. he wishes that he could wind time back and not let her insecurities bubble inside of her. "you're so beautiful. you're really beautiful. you're the most beautiful girl in the world. you were beautiful when we were kids and you had the shortest curls. you were beautiful when we were sixteen and you would wear your hair parted without a care in the world. you're beautiful now. and yes. i admit that angela was pretty. and kissing her was different." he rambles and el furrows her eyebrows together this time. her tears beading.

"not helping-"

"el. listen to me." he says and he knows he's not making sense. he's better at writing than talking. that's for sure."—kissing her was really fun. kissing is fun."

"for an english mayor you fucking—"

"but kissing you, eleanor... is like the feeling of home. it's like... when you finish a project and you still have hours to enjoy your day. i don't fucking know. god, i know that i messed up breaking up with you. i messed up because i wanted that stupid college fantasy and i hate myself for it. because i ruined everything we had. i miss you."

"you miss me?" she asks, looking up and she's teary-eyed.

"more than anything." he says and he's leaning closer to her. "can we please try again? i know i fucked up, el. i know. but please... i miss you so much."el chews on her lower lip.

"what promises me that you won't change your mind again? what happens if you see somebody that's so much better than me. it happened with juliana or whatever her name was." she asks.

"i'll prove it."

"w-what?" her eyes are wide and she's in surprise of his words. she was expecting everything but that.

"yeah. i'll make it up to you. every single day. i promise. and if you think that it's not the same, or if you want to break up — it's entirely fine by me. can i please have another chance? please?"

she bites on her lower lip. "please don't make me regret this, mike."

"i won't. i promise."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the kind comments guys :( i was considering deleting this fic as a whole.. but i'm going to keep going. i promise a happy ending. just stick with me. <3

el sat on the familiar coffee shop a few days later. she's dressed up, long skirts and a tight band tee. her hair is in her comfortable curls and she's sitting across the familiar blonde once again. she was enjoying a cup of coffee while the other one drank tea. el had told her everything that went down between mike and her after their date and maya instantly felt guilty. so, el opted for them to meet up early in the morning. (especially since she had plans with the party after.) 

"so, you two are dating again?" she asks, lowering her glass of tea and she's staring at the other in confusion. there's a furrow of a brow and eleanor is shaking her head. her curls seeming to go everywhere. max had asked her the same question with her arms crossed across her chest. 

"no, not at all." she confirms. "i think we're probably far from it right now. but it's nice having him around again. it's actually really nice to hang out with my friends at the same time." she laughs and she catches how maya's eyes shimmer in interest. it has el absolutely intrigued.

"so.. if my calculations are correct, we can keep meeting up?"

"i mean, why wouldn't we?" she questions and el feels her phone buzz. "oh, hold on. my phone's going off." she says, reaching into her purse and maya really can't believe that el didn't catch her extremely obvious hint. maya takes a small breath and sips on her drink. 

she's obviously hitting on her. maya found el really cute and obviously, el wasn't ready for a relationship anytime soon but still she was interested in the honey eyed girl. they would text constantly and el's mind absolutely amazed the blonde. who in their right mind would leave that girl to mess around, that was beyond her.

"max's outside." el says, pouting and maya's heart somewhat flutters. 

"see you around?" the blonde asks hopefully and el smiles widely. 

"yeah, no doubt about it." el says, grabbing her purse and maya stands up to formally say goodbye to the other. el furrows her eyebrows in confusion, 

"hm?"

maya plants a sweet kiss on her cheek. a kiss that has el's cheeks sporting red. 

"i can't say goodbye without coping a kiss, right?" she says flirtatiously and el's nudging her shoulder. she's so flustered that he doesn't know what to do with herself. 

the party was outside, in all it's glory. dustin and lucas couldn't stop rambling excitedly while max and will were engaged in something about a thesis. mike on the other hand, couldn't help but look inside and see how his ex's girlfriends cheeks sported colors after being kissed by maya. he felt his stomach drop and he felt like crawling into a ball under his sheets. 

_is this how she felt when he'd look over his shoulder?_

he watches as el walks out the coffee shop and she's smiling at the party widely. 

"finally! i thought we'd have to wait for you forever!" max whines, throwing her arm over el's shoulders and el can't help the laugh that leaves her mouth. 

"you're so annoying." she mumbles, being dragged by max to lead the party and the redhead is whispering into her ear. 

"i saw that, miss hopper."

"shut up, you saw nothing." el says, cheeks red again and max makes smooching noises in her ear. that only makes el swat her away and she's laughing a little too hard at her best friend's words. 

"hey, hey!" dustin yelps out and catches the eye of the girls. there's a significant space between them and they didn't even notice. "you guys are running to the theater when we don't even know what we're going to watch!"

"yeah, what are we watching?" lucas asks, thankful that the girls stopped in their tracks. he can finally catch his breath. "jesus, you guys walk fast..." he mutters.

"isn't midsommar in the theaters?" will chirps up and mike's nodding along. they're walking towards the theater and it's almost like they're fifteen again. el remembers climbing on the back of mike's bike and rushing to max's house where they'd all meet up. 

"i already saw it. suzie and i watched it. then i told lucas how good it was and he watched it with the girls." dustin explains and mike's furrowing his eyebrows together. el smiles fondly at the action.

"you're so fucking lame, dustin. we were supposed to watch it together." mike complains and will only laughs at his reaction. 

"stop being a baby, wheeler. i'm pretty that cats is playing." will says and this time the tallest of the two shoves him.

"not funny dude. that movie scarred me." 

el laughs at the group's dynamic and she doesn't even realize that now, she's lingering in the back. max is the ring leader with dustin behind her, lucas is now chatting away with will. she doesn't realize how mike's standing beside her, hands in his pockets and he's waiting for her.

she blinks into reality and she's looking over at him. it's awkward. but maybe it's because of the expression mike holds on his face.

"stop making that face." eleanor laughs out, hands in pocket and she's nudging him with her shoulder. she barely grazes his side. 

"what face?" 

"the face you're making. you look like you're going to have a stroke." 

that makes him laugh. 

"no strokes. i'm just enjoying the fact that we're all hanging out together again." mike explains and el can only smile at his words. she gets it. they've been a party since the beginning of time and weeks of not being able to hang out together really struck her heart. 

they're walking side by side but their steps are dragged. like they're trying to make this walk last longer so that they could talk some more. and it's like they're kids again. like the sunny day that they went to the top of the hill and they held hands behind the party, whispering and holding hands in their own world. 

"are they together?" dustin asks lucas, who has his arm slung around him and he only shrugs. max and will eventually join their small huddle. 

"what are talking about?" max questions and the four of them are walking at the same speed. they look like middle schoolers whispering secrets about their crushes.

"if el and mike are together." lucas repeats and max shakes her head at the question in the air. 

"friends to lovers?" will suggests. "but then again, who really knows. the girl she was talking to in the coffee shop was pretty cu---"

 **"guys! we're here."** eleanor says, pointing to the theater. mike stands right beside her with a small smile on his face. **"where were you guys going?"**

"they were probably gossiping about us." mike says with a roll of his eyes and like always, dustin nervously laughs out loud. god, he's always going to be the same dustin.

 _ **"what? no!"**_

that only makes all of them laugh in unison. 

"el and i are going to buy the tickets." max says and she's linking arms with her best friend. the girls are soon on the line to the movie cinema and the boys huddle in a circle. (well. kinda.)

"what do you think we're going to watch?" 

"probably a romantic comedy." dustin says and lucas groans. they all know how much el loves romantic films.

"please, i've seen way too many these past few weeks." lucas complains and will can't help the snort that leaves his mouth.

"thank god my boyfriend loves documentaries."

"i'd rather watch a romantic film than a robot documentary." mike teases and dustin stops him. 

"ey, ey. respect the robots." 

"don't come crying to me when robots eat el's brain." will tsks and lucas smirks. 

"those are zombies, will." 

"that's how you know that he didn't watch the documentary." dustin teases and will's smacking his best friend's shoulder. it's harsh and it earns a yelp from the other. the others only laugh at the exchange.

"guys, stop teasing will and come on!" el calls. they're all turning around and she's holding all six tickets in her hands. she has a bright smile on her face and he feels himself back at prom. when she wore her pretty dress and she couldn't stop gleaming.

"what are watching?" dustin questions warily and he's ready to make a run for it if it's a romantic comedy. 

"spies in disguise." 

it's an animated film and by the enthusiasm, it's obvious that the party enjoyed the pick. they're rushing inside and it's funny to think that they're college students.

"you agreed with el?" lucas asked in wonder and max shrugs, reaching for his hand. 

"it seems like a funny movie." 

only mike and el are outside and they're left in silence. 

el opens the door for the lanky teenager, 

_"after you?" mike asks. he's eighteen and he can't stop sweating. it's not even the suit. she's wearing glitter on her eyes and her puffy pink dress reminds him of the disney movies holly would force him to watch._

"thank you." he says, heading inside the cinema and he's waiting for her to follow him behind.


	9. Chapter 9

the movie theater was absolutely empty. maybe it was because it was early. hell, mike didn't really know. all they know is that they were giving the girl on the register a hard time and he couldn't help the forced smile he sent her way. she looked absolutely miserable. the party on the other hand, were deciding what to eat. which seemed to take more time than watching the actual movie. they seemed like middle schoolers because they were staring at the candies on display with wide eyes and in that precise moment, mike takes a moment to realize how much the party has grown throughout the years.

he remembers how small and awkward lucas was and now, he was the exact opposite. he was absolutely confident in his own skin and he would sport clothes that would only look good at him. he also takes a look at dustin, who didn't really grow that much but his mind seemed to expand more than any of them. he was their genius, their ace, and he couldn't help the smile that graced his face as he explained how they shouldn't ever eat chocolate covered raisins. 

will had grown too. he was almost head to head with mike, height wise at least. the two of them had been friends since forever and yet, a summer filled with way too many arguments, had mike spewing some hurtful things like _"it's not my fault you don't like girls."_ and it was only obvious that they had grown apart that summer. will didn't really want to be around mike, so he simply branched out more the girls. but eventually, once school started later that year, they were back to being friends. (they might've had an emotional comeback, but nobody talks about it.)

maxine mayfield was simply max. she was as spunky as ever but still, just like they were young, she was the perfect match for his best friend. max had grown taller than el and she had gone through phases where she'd chop her long locks off. she was studying social work and to this day, mike feels absolutely guilty about how he'd treat her when they were kids. sure, they were kids at the time. but he had no right to treat her like that. sure, they didn't get along at times, but the two of them seemed to hang out together every full moon. 

el was the one that changed the most. at least in his eyes. maybe it's because his eyes were always on eleanor. she went from being bright and bold as a child, to turning into this insecure shell once her mother passed, to then slowly budding. he remembers how she'd cry into his chest and begged for her mother back. he remembers how she'd laugh when they'd go on dates to the amusement parks and would beg him to stop bumping into her. he remembers the flutter in his chest after prom where she was a little too drunk and wouldn't stop telling him that she loved him. but then she'd pull away and say that she loved her boyfriend mike. 

god, he had a tendency for _**fucking**_ things up.

" **mike**! are you going to share popcorn with el? jesus." max says, obviously annoyed at the tallest party member. she's furrowing her eyebrows together and mike didn't even realize that he was the one that was holding them back. 

"you guys already ordered?" he asks, in obvious confusion and max rubs her temples. 

"dustin and will ordered. lucas and me ordered. we're just missing el and you." max says and he looks over at the brunette. who's sending him a sorry smile. he knows that smiles. she thinks that she's bothering him. 

"yeah, i'll order with el. i don't mind." mike shrugs and he watches how she opens her mouth but he doesn't need to ask her what she likes. he knows her like the palm of his hands. 

"okay, we're going to find seats." dustin says and will's furrowing his eyebrows together. there's nobody in this whole cinema. they could find a seat in two seconds flat. 

"yeah, we'll see you inside." lucas says and max is the one that's hesitant. she doesn't want to leave her best friend with a guy that can't make up his mind. lucas sends her a small nudge and she's letting a small breath out. she follows the others and el can hear her complaining to lucas.

the cashier clears her throat and mike's instantly pulled into reality. "shit, my bad. okay. hi. i'll have the biggest popcorn you have, two packet of m&ms, coke and a cherry slushie. both of them being the biggest ones you have."

the girl charges him, slowly getting their order ready and el stands beside him awkwardly. she's balancing herself on the pads of her feet and she's the one that's breaking the silence, 

"you remembered."

_"does your species likes m &ms?" a fourteen year old mike asks and since the beginning of time, he's been fucking things up. he doesn't know if it's a personal talent. they had an argument and he was out her window, chocolates in hands and she's laughing at his dorkiness. _

"you don't forget about the girl that's been in your mind since you were a kid." he retaliates and their order is done. her cheeks are flustered pink. he's reaching for the popcorn and the packets. eleanor comes to her senses faster and reaches for the drinks. he leads the way and she follows him closely. she can hear her heart pounding loudly. she likes this. she likes this a lot. it feels like they're back at hawkins and she doesn't have to compete with anybody. 

they make their way in the screening room and instantly, the party is making noise. they're hollering when they catch sight of the duo and el only giggles. that giggle makes him smile to himself. but still, he thanks god that they're the only ones in this screening room.

because damn, the party is so fucking noisy. 

el's the first one to sit between the two of them. she's sitting beside will and mike's sitting beside her. it's like every single time they went to the movies. the order was dustin, max, lucas, will, el and finally mike. the trailers are playing as mike's settling in his seat. the popcorn is on his lap and automatically, he's reaching for her hand. 

"shit. sorry." he says, pulling away and she's sending him a small smile. 

"it's okay." el laughs and she really did miss him. but she wouldn't make this easy for him. 

the party keeps talking and el soon joins in the active conversation. mike on the other hand is absolutely quiet. he's looking over at the brunette and he has so many thoughts crossing his mind. so many memories crossing his mind. mike remembers the summer where they'd tumble on the hills and giggle too much. he remembers how she'd make flower crowns for the both of them and they'd kiss each other without anything in their minds. 

"hey mike, did you put the m&ms in?" she asks him and that pulls him from his thoughts. he was often an airhead, but he didn't know why he was so in his thoughts today. 

he shakes her head. "no, no. hold on." 

"i'll hold onto the bag. so you don't spill it like last time." 

"last time was a mistake." he laughs and the girl reaches for the popcorn. she has a smile on her face.

 **"hey, hey! no touching. we're seeing you guys."** max yells across the theater and both of them are bursting out in laughter. their friends are so annoying. he swears. 

mike opens the packets and drops the small m&ms in the popcorn. that was probably why nobody wanted to share with el. or maybe they were trying to set them up again. he didn't know why. but he was thankful for that. 

"hey, mike."

"yeah?" he asks, not looking at her and she smiles at how focused he is. 

**_"does your species like m &ms?"_ **


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know that i've been gone for a hot minute, but. i really haven't felt motivation to write this fic. i feel like whatever i do is just going to mess this whole fic up and have comments diss me. which sucks. but hey, yolo right? this chapter is short because i'm working on a lengthier one! (or trying.)

the day at the theater was barely the start of it. the party was hanging out more and more. and it was slowly feeling like old times. when dustin was too loud and eleanor couldn't stop laughing at all he said. their snapchats were clogged of will slightly buzzed and max dyeing mike's hair. the two of them had their moments at times, but overall it was everything that el wanted. this was the college experience. she was sure of it. 

spring break was now around the corner and the party was absolutely thriving. the group chat had been blowing up with what they were going to do and they all eventually settled on meeting up at hawkins once their personal trips were done. maya asked her if she wanted to join her in her plans, but she simply said no. she missed her family a little too much. plus, she didn't know where she stood with maya. 

maybe that's why she was wide awake. 

her best friend had crashed asleep in her bed since they decided to watch movies and for once, el was jealous of the other. 

so many thoughts clogged the brunette's head and she couldn't wrap her head around the maya situation. they were friends. really good friends. maya was easy to talk to and she was extremely smart. the girl could hear her talk about whatever for hours and she'd be pleased. but she felt like something was missing. she could feel something was missing and she knew what it was. 

el was comfortable in her sexuality. she always knew that she was somebody who could love anybody in whatever shape or form. so, it wasn't that. and she was great kisser. she'd be gentle and hold her cheeks comfortably. 

but she can't help but think about mike. 

_"and nobody wants to know you now..." mike says, breaking the kiss. it's summer and they're on el's small bed. they're listening to hopper's vinyls and simply enjoying each other's company. her door is closed shut and she knows that if her dad was home, he'd be flipping his lid._

_she's looking at him with wide eyes and she can't help the laugh that leaves her mouth._

_"mike --- mike. stop."_

she likes maya. she does. she's sweet. 

but fuck. 

a sigh leaves her mouth and as she closes her eyes, her phone buzzes. 

she's careful with the redhead beside her when she reaches out for her phone. max stirs but doesn't wake up. a relieved sigh leaves her mouth and soon she's unlocking her phone. her homescreen is her dad and her, and she catches how the message she just got is from mike.

there's still butterflies in her stomach. 

**from: mike**

**my el senses are buzzing.**

**from: mike**

**are you awake?**

el wants to laugh. his el senses. what a loser. 

**to: mike**

**damn, i thought those were rusty.**

**from: mike**

**they were. but i'm working on tweaking them out now.**

**to: mike**

**well, you're right.**

**to: mike**

**what are you doing up?**

**to: mike**

**thought of going out for a midnight hangout.**

**to: mike**

**join me?**

and like a fourteen year old girl, she's scattering to her crush's text. 

she shouldn't. she really shouldn't. 

but she wants to see what could happen between them. if he still feels the same. 

**to: mike**

**yeah. give me five and i'll meet you downstairs.**


	11. Chapter 11

mike wasn't expecting el to say yes. the english major was expecting a left on read or for her to not even read his text. so this was an extreme surprise. he couldn't help the bright smile on his face and if dustin wasn't asleep, he would've screamed. but since he is, he simply muttered an excited "yes!" and quickly dressed up for whatever this was.

he was careful with not waking dustin up and he slowly made his way down. he wanted to go to the diner, which was often quiet and they could talk there. he didn't know what he'd even say but he'd think about it on their way there. mike's goal tonight was to apologize for how he treated her and how he was an asshole for even looking over his shoulder. but he didn't want to make the brunette cry. he really didn't.

he was making his way down the stairs and he was quick to evaluate his outfit. he was wearing one of his band shirts, a green jacket and he thought it was a pretty nice contrast to the mess of colors in his hair. he had a mix of red and purple hair, which was pretty sick. at least he thought so. if mike was being honest, he didn't care about his outfit. he was just trying to distract his head. he was already downstairs, sitting by one of the benches and he was playing with his thoughts.

he had to redeem himself. he really did.

it wasn't like he accidentally stepped on her toes while dancing. he made his curiosity so obvious that she broke up with him. he was pretty sure that he hurt her self esteem and he couldn't help but want to punch himself. he was really a dumbass.

"hey, you look quite nervous." a voice says, breaking him from his thoughts and he can't help the disappointment on his face when he realizes it's not el. it's one of the many girls he fooled around with during his shitty break from the girl who he acted cared about. he was drunk as hell, so he wouldn't be saying her name. (her name was stacy? ava? he doesn't even remember.)

"oh, hey." he greets and it's monotone. "yeah, i'm a bit nervous."

the blue haired girl sits beside him, inviting herself into his personal space and he's scooting away slowly. "you're waiting for somebody, wheeler?"

"yeah, i am."

god, why did he even branch out. he's known ever since he was young that parties weren't for him and he didn't fit that entire agenda. he was from a small town in hawkins and parties for him were the party gathering in his old basement. mike wheeler was really dumb.

"oh, are you taking somebody on a date?" she says and she's nudging him with her shoulder. does she really not get the hint that he doesn't want to talk?

"i'm going out with el." he clarifies and he watches as her eyebrows furrow together. she's obviously confused by his words and he can't blame him. he was surprised too.

"weren't you over her?" she says and in that cue, el's coming down the stairs. she's excited and she's telling herself to play it cool. she catches mike's curly hair and the stranger talking. she's curious and she listens into the conversation. she shouldn't. but she couldn't help herself.

"you think with eyes like those, i'd forget about el hopper?" he says and her heart is thumping loudly in her chest. it shouldn't affect her. at all. she was mad at mike, hurt by everything he had said and done, but she was still in love with him.

_"good morning, pretty girl." he greets the sleepy girl and it's the night after prom. the entire party had thrown money together and had stayed at a nearby hotel together. the six of them had crammed into a room and el had no idea how they even got to the hotel. all she remembers is drinking until she couldn't handle it. she also has no idea how she got into her pajamas and had her makeup stripped away. but she wouldn't question it. she was too tired._

_she throws the white sheets over her head and she hears the shower in the background. it's probably one of the boys. max wouldn't wake up this early. especially since she drank as much as el._

_mike laughs at her antics, pulling down the sheets that cover her face and he plants a kiss on her forehead. "did you sleep well?"_

" **listen,** i'm flattered by your words. but this was a mistake. i don't want to pursue you anymore and i really hope you stop bothering me. so please..." mike says, struggling with the blue haired girl who can't help but scoot closer. and that's when el decides to jump in.

these two months have been hell. el remembers crying and crying. she remembers having her heart torn to bits and thinking about mike every single day. but she slowly came to terms with it. she slowly came to terms that this was a needed break. she needed to find out who she was and what she liked. she had to grow comfortable in her own skin and she had to stop hiding behind others. maybe that's why she's talking with utter confidence and so bold that it snaps both of their hands to the girl.

"hey, mike. you're ready?" el says, interrupting the moment between them and mike can't help the sigh of relief that leaves his mouth.

"yeah -- yeah, i am. it was nice seeing you, um..."

"salem." she scowls at the standing college student. her eyes go over at el and she's scanning her. she's eyeing eleanor and for once, the brunette doesn't feel the need to hide behind the tallest one. she doesn't feel the need to hide behind anybody. of course her knees tremble, but she has to slowly start being sure of herself.

el's hair is pulled into a ponytail and she's wearing one of her grey flannels. it's tugged in her white denim shorts and she even managed to match it with a nice belt. she had to give herself credits for such a nice outfit. she's reaching for mike's hand with a smile and she looks over at the girl with the same one.

"nice to see you, salem."


	12. Chapter 12

it's a pleasant evening and the duo are walking side by side. after their little encounter with salem, their hands had remained clasped together and none of them dared to even mention it. they were scared that if they mentioned it, it would break the inner peace that both of them were feeling. for once, it was nice to not think. for once, it was nice to forget everything that happened and just be together for a night. el has no idea where they're going since mike leads the way but she hums. and that's what catches mike wheeler's attention.

"so. playboy wheeler?" she asks and he lets out a grunt. he hates it. she notices it by his reaction and she can't help the laugh that leaves her mouth.

there's pure adrenaline pushing through their veins and it's because of the contact. mike's hands are bigger than hers and it brings her a sense of comfort. the streets are active but she feels absolutely protected. not that she'd tell him a thing like that. she wants him to prove that he was absolutely wrong and that he deserved a second chance. that all of this was a stupid mistake and that he wanted her back. sure, he had told her how he felt. but she needed actions. she needed something concrete to back up the words that she still replays in the back of her head before going to sleep and the second she wakes up.

"damn. the diner's packed." mike comments and she takes a small peek at the diner. and he's right. it's packed with high school students that are laughing way too loud and it seems like it's the mid-afternoon. "here i thought it'd be quiet."

"i don't know what you expected. we used to do this all the time." el says, smiling fondly at the memories of them getting up in the middle of the night and going to eat ice cream together. el would ride in the back of his bike and she'd be in her pajamas. she remembers telling benny to keep their visits a secret from her dad.

"you're right." he laughs, "do you want to go inside still?"

eleanor hums, thinking. she's looking around the busy street and she catches how there's a small pub in the background. it's almost hidden. the only thing that makes it stand out, is the flickering lights outside. max had mentioned something about a karaoke bar being opened nearby the diner and how they should visit it sometime.

"actually. let's go there." she says, pointing with her free hand and he's looking over. "max told me that it's really nice. i'm pretty sure lucas took her there."

"what's there?"

she knows. but still she looks over at him with a smile and shrugs. "why don't we find out?"

and he flows. he follows her lead and there's excitement coiling in the pit of his stomach. el's laughing as they speed to the location and he can't help but follow her blindly. this is what the books were talking about. this was the feeling of euphoria. this was the feeling of infinity.

he opens the door for el and it's a small karaoke pub. it's not empty, but it's not littered of people. there's a few familiar faces and others that aren't. there's old music playing out of a jukebox and it seems like everybody is doing their own thing. there's a girl with a microphone in her hands and she's singing to her lover with teary eyes. el immediately loves the vibe. mike can tell in the way her shoulders relax and she's throwing him a smile.

"let's sit down." she says, pulling him to one of the empty tables on the sidelines. her hand lets go of his own as she sits on one of the chairs and he feels emptiness creep on his body.

el hopper really completed him.

"before i sit down. do you want a drink?" he questions. he knows that she doesn't drink. but she has an adventurous glint in her eye so he can't help but question her. she's eyeing the entire place with a bright smile and he's sure that he's falling more for her.

"bring me anything." she only answers.

"like.. water?"

"yes. and a shot."

"water and a shot? are you sure? you can't exactly handle your alcohol, eleanor..." he says but he's teasing her. she rolls her eyes at his words and instantly bats him away.

"that's why you're here, aren't you?" el teases and he laughs.

"wow, so you're just using me."

"shut up, wheeler." she says with a laugh and soon the lanky boy is disappearing from her sight. he watches her from the bar and he watches how pretty she looks. he watches how she's singing along with the new singer and she's really the prettiest girl here.

he orders two water bottles and two shots. he asks the bartender for the softest alcohol possible for the shots and he's met with a laugh. nevertheless, he gets his drinks and he's soon making his way towards her. he's nervous but excited. the duo has never done anything like this.

"finally. i thought you were going to take three hours." she teases and he can't help the roll his eyes. el hopper really was her father.

"very funny. here's your shot."

"thank you... alright, now we can do this." she says and there's excitement in her eyes. "let's play a game."

"what are you, saw?" he teases and she slaps his shoulder playfully. there's an instrumental in the background and she's rolling her eyes. he can't help but smile at the confidence that she's oozing tonight. he doesn't know what it is. but he really likes it.

"you ask me a question and i'll answer it. if you don't want to answer, you have to take a shot."

oh thank god. the ball was in his court. this was the time to redeem himself. or try to.

"or we can take shots and talk like ordinary people?" he questions and she tsks.

"boring. we need to live the college experience, don't you think?"

after she says that, it's awkward. maybe for a second.

"alright. i deserved that. let's play." he agrees and soon, they're playing.

it starts with a bunch of dumb questions and it has both of them laughing. dumb questions about classes and the party members. mike is laughing at the fact that max sings madonna while getting ready for a date and el can't help the giggles that leave her mouth when hearing that suzie likes when dustin purrs. there's no alcohol in her system and they're simply enjoying their time together.

but now, they're digging deeper.

"what are you doing for spring break?" he questions.

"me? i'm going home." she says, taking a sip of her water. her eyes are torn between mike and the switching singers. she can't believe that the college is blessed with so many good singers.

"oh... what about maya?"

"what do you mean what about maya?" she asks, not sparing a glance his way. she's enjoying the karaoke too much. she's clapping when the girl finishes her song but she's soon brought back into reality.

"do you like her?"

yeah. she should take that shot.

el reaches for the shot but soon, she's letting go of it. "i don't know."

"you don't know?" he furrows his eyebrows in confusion and she hates how dumb he can be sometimes.

"i think she's a great person. don't get me wrong. she's lovely. but i don't think i like her. i can't like her when i've been in love with the same person for years."

those words catch him absolutely off guard and he takes one of the bitter shot into his system.

"mike! it wasn't your turn!"

"i needed that shot. you can't just say that and expect me to be okay." he says, cheeks red and she laughs at his reaction. she doesn't expect herself to be this cool either. she doesn't even know what's gotten into her. she should be flustered at her words.

"well, now you missed a chance to skip."

"good. i won't need it." he reassures, shaking off the bitterness of the shot.

there's music between their words and she finally pulls herself together. she wants to ask this. she deserves to know this. even if it breaks her entire being.

"well... why did you feel the need to discover?"

he knew that he didn't feel bitter because of the shot. mike lets out a small breath. "i thought i was missing out. i'd see other people in class talk about parties and hooking up with girls and i felt like i was missing out in something big. i thought that i was missing out in the big college experience by being tied down." he explains. "but turns out i'm just a jackass that doesn't know shit and that manages to fuck everything up."

she's quiet. listening to him.

"i was such an asshole to you and you have no idea how much i regret it. but i think you know that."

"i do." she confirms.

he laughs at her words. "you do. i was a jackass or am a jackass. i don't know yet. and i should've done this differently. i should've talked to you about how i felt and i didn't do that. i hate how my interests got the best of me and i ruined the best thing i ever had."

"i called nancy." he says and that earns a reaction from her. "i know. i know. but listen. i called her and she mentioned how i had to open my mind to me losing you to somebody else... and i thought i was okay with that. i really did. if i was exploring, you have all the right to do so too."

"but it killed me. i saw you with maya and i felt like everything was falling on my shoulders. i know that i broke your trust and that i shattered everything between us. and fuck, i'm losing you to somebody else--" he says and el can see tears in his eyes. that's when she reaches for his hand and brushes his knuckles in comfort.

"mike. listen to me."

and he does.

"college is different. and i get that. there's so many pretty girls and this... this isn't hawkins. you're drawn to meet people that catch your eye and relationships aren't always butterflies in your stomach. relationships are something that needs work from both parties and... god, i'm not making any sense." she awkwardly laughs. she really doesn't. "my point is. i'm here because i want to fix this. i want to fix our relationship and get it in a right path. i know that i might get called a clown and i might get comments of being a dumbass... but mike. you're my first love. you're my first everything. and i love you. i love you so much. yes, it's going to take time to tweak this through and it's going to take time to make this relationship as it was. but i want to be with you. obviously, this doesn't mean that we're together. but do you think i would've come out if i wasn't expecting us to fix this? or to find a way to fix it? or find reasons as to why i should fix this with you? reasons for me to give you another chance?"

he's reaching for her shot and he's taking it into his system.

"mike!" she yelps again and those are two shots in his system.

"i needed it more than you." he says, the same excuse and she's calling over the bartender.

"two more shots, please!"

soon, it's four in the morning and they're absolutely wasted. everybody in the pub is wasted.

"el, are you going to sing?" he says, a little bit too wasted. she shakes her head, ponytail waving side to side. the duo have drank about eight shots each and el is off her mind. she's not even thinking at this point.

"no, are you?"

"yeah, i am! for **you**!" he says.

"for me?" she's slurring in disbelief. she's struggling to keep her eyes open.

"for you!" he says, making his way to the microphone and everybody's cheering for the lanky student. "bartender, robin is it? can i sing it? do you guys have every breath you take?"

the bartender nods and soon, it's playing through the speakers. he's really fucking drunk. and she is too. el's grabbing her phone and she's filming him. she doesn't know if she's filming him on snapchat or her camera roll. is she even filming him?

_every breath you take and every move you make.._   
_every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you.._

**"el, come on! it's going to turn off!" a sixteen year old michael wheeler yells out. it's the fourth of july and they're playing with sprinkles. the brunette is watching with wide eyes and she's a little too scared to touch it. she doesn't want to get burned.**

**"i'm scared!"**

**"come on, don't be a pussy!" dustin yells and el is frowning. mike catches how her smile fades and he throws dustin a glance. he makes her way to her delicately and the sparkler is away from their bodies. he's still holding it though.**

**"come on, el. i'm here with you. i won't let you get burned."**

_every single day and every word you say..._   
_every game you play, every night you stay, i'll be watching you..._

**"did you see his face?" mike questions and he's cycling his way home. he's on the phone with the other and she's giggling at his words.**

**"it was like a tomato."**

the whole drunken pub was clapping to his voice and he's putting the microphone in place. anybody sober, would know that he couldn't sing. but there was alcohol and to everybody, he was the absolutely best singer. he's high-fiving strangers as he makes his way to the table. he's tumbling and el is clapping with an awestruck smile. it's extremely late. they should be asleep since they had to be in hawkins in the morning, but they're having so much fun that it doesn't matter to either of them.

"you did so good, mike!" she's slurring and before he can even react, she's kissing him.

he's slightly in shock but soon, he eases into the kiss. resting his hand around her waist.

and shit, even though they're both drunk till the bloodstream --

_mike is somebody that she won't forget._

_and el is the love of his life._


	13. Chapter 13

the next morning, or should he say, a few hours later. mike wheeler is laying on his back, staring at the ceiling and he swears that he can smell el's perfume on his bed sheets. he was alone in his dorm since dustin was already on the road, but it didn't feel like it. he couldn't stop replaying the moments between him and eleanor.

_dustin's snoring lightly and he's thankful that he's a deep sleeper. he's staring at el, straight in the eyes, and it's like her curls won't let him take a glance at her. she has this dumbfounded smile on her face and it's the same smile she has when she's drunk._

_"i need to go soon." el reminds him. she's drunk, but it's almost like she's not drunk off the alcohol. she's staring at him with such a love in his eyes that he feels safe. it feels like he can lay with el hopper and no harm could possibly come to him. "max's going to be awake soon and i don't want her to think that i snuck away with a loser."_

_"didn't you though?" he asks and his heart is pounding too loud. he doesn't think that he could possibly fall asleep with her in his bed. they're not even doing anything that could remotely get him in trouble with the main office. they're simply staring at each other._

_"no. you're special." she confesses. her fingertips are tracing his eyebrows, to his cheekbones to eventually rest his chin. she wants to kiss him. she wants to kiss him so bad. "actually. you are a loser."_

_he laughs quietly and she can't help the adoration that's blasting in her chest. she loves him so much. he loves her so much too._

_"i want to kiss you, mike."_

_there's uncertainty in the air. "you're drunk, el. i don't want you to regret doing this."_

_"i wouldn't be laying here if i regretted anything from last night."_

he didn't know why he wasn't moving from his bed. maybe it was because he wanted to keep that moment in his mind forever. but he should really get going. the drive to hawkins took a few hours and he wanted to get there before dinner.

his phone buzzes and mike's reaching out for his phone. it's probably nancy reminding him that he should stop at her house since zoe is extremely adamant on meeting her uncle mike. (at least that's what she says. the baby was barely a year old. he's probably sure that zoe could care less about her ragged uncle.)

**from: el**

**will left earlier for hawkins...**

**from: el**

**is there space for little old me in your car?**

it doesn't take long for him to come up with a response. hell, it doesn't even take him a second to process it. el could ask him for the entire galaxy and he'd rush up to get it for her. even if he messed up. he shakes his head and tries to take that doubt out of his thoughts. he fucked up and el knew that he was trying his best to make it better. that's really all that mattered.

**to: el**

**obviously.**

**to: el**

**i'm already dressed, so let me clean my car.**

that was a lie. he wasn't dressed. okay, he was. but he wasn't counting with el being in the plans. at all. so he had to change immediately. he was wearing this ugly mustard shirt that was stained with toothpaste and some swimming trunks that were so comfortable he wore them to class. yes, el had seem him through his worse. ninth grade was a strange era of dressing for him and he really thought that sweater vests were cool -- but he wanted to impress her.

that's why he's now wearing skinny jeans, a band shirt and his hair is shoved under a beanie. he has his backpack slung over his shoulders and it's his clothes for two weeks. when he's walking down the stairs, pacing to meet el, he's almost tripping over his legs. he feels like an excited cheerleader meeting her quarterback boyfriend after a successful game. max and lucas during high school. except lucas was the cheerleader.

el's resting on the cherry red car and she has a suitcase. the suitcase is covered in lisa frank stickers and he smiles fondly. it's the same suitcase that she had when they stayed at the hotel and the same suitcase she'd use when she sneaked into his house when it was late at night. sometimes the girl couldn't sleep due to her nightmares and she'd simply head to his.

"good afternoon, my lady." he says, pretending to have an accent and she's looking up from her phone. she rolls her eyes at his words, but there's a smile on her face.

she looks pretty. extremely pretty. her curly hair is pulled into braids, she's wearing a peach shirt and some denim shorts. she has her flip flops on and he has no idea how she looks so casual, yet so stunning. but then again, she's always pretty.

"afternoon wheeler." she greets back and it's obvious that she's running on pure caffeine. "it's just one suitcase, you don't have to worry about it."

"still." he says, leaning down to grab the suitcase and his backpack can't help but flop onto the floor. he freezes and instead of worried el, what he gets is loud laughter. he looks up at her and she's laughing so hard that her eyes are squeezed shut.

"you're an idiot, mike wheeler."

the drive to hawkins isn't as awkward as he'd thought. the radio plays a little too loud and they're both playing tracks. the cities slowly turn into trees and the playlist is a mix between mike's old bands and el's bubbly pop. it's a strange combination, but it wasn't a bad one. it was somewhat endearing seeing el trying to sing along to his favorite bands.

when she messes up the lyrics, he laughs and she can't help the shy smile that grazes her face.

it's a weird position to be in. they're not together. not in the slightest. but they're flirting with each other and singing romantic lyrics to each other. they're slipping into old habits, mike's hand on her thigh and el messing around with his sunglasses. maybe that's what makes it special. the way that they're not labeling anything. maybe that's what's going to make it work.

"do you remember..." he asks, reaching for the volume and the guitar riffs slow down. "how scared we used to be of the city?"

el laughs at his question. her eyes are focused outside and she's trying hard to calm her pacing heart. he's had his hand on her thigh for almost four songs and she doesn't know how to calm her heart down. she's trying to avoid his gaze. "you can say how afraid i was. it's okay."

the brunette was absolutely terrified. she went from a quiet place in hawkins where everybody knew each other, to a college where tumbling into drunks in the morning was a hobby. not to mention that it was loud. and she didn't like loud.

"i'd always cling to you. my anxiety was awful." she tries playing off.

"i never complained... and i'll never complain." mike says, looking over at her with fond eyes and it's almost like she's drawn to look back at him with a gentle expression. it's for a mere second but she looks away with a warm smile on her face. her cheeks are hot and soon, she's surprising him with the windows down. there's air coming everywhere. her hair is flowing in the wind and he's staring at her.

he's watching how she's singing the lyrics to her guilty pleasure song and his heart thumps in his ears. he's smiling and soon, his eyes are back on the road.

one hand on the steering wheel, one hand on her thigh and she's singing.

yeah, this is euphoric.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fic is finally reaching one of it’s most important points. it’s ending soon, so i hope you guys are enjoying this!

in the middle of the trip, el manages to fall asleep.

it's not exactly surprising to either of them since the wind is caressing her gently and her ex-boyfriend's fingers won't stop tracing on her skin. it's something that he'd do in the past that would instantly calm all of her nerves down. it felt like the secret charm.

el fell asleep but she doesn't dream. ever since her mother passed away, there hasn't been a night where the girl has dreamed about anything in specific. it's always pitch black, like a restart button. and when it's not, it's almost like she's spectating an event. the girl wouldn't tell anybody about it though. she didn't want to scare anybody away. she hadn't spoke about it with max nor mike. and they were her best friends.

prom was the last thing that she had shared with her mom. el, now no longer a teenager, is watching the smaller version of herself getting ready for the great night. el had set the makeup aside and her dress was displayed beautifully on her bed. she, as a child didn't understand why her dad had been puffing all day. but now as an adult she understood. terry had asked the doctor to temporarily discharge her for this event. and while her dad wasn't a negative nancy, he worried for his mother's health more than anything.

as the younger version of herself rushes excitedly to her mother, her hair pulled in small braids in hopes of being curled; she watches how her dad eyes the both of them. in her mind there was nothing wrong about it. she almost took it as her mom asking for a day off from her workplace. she didn't take it as serious.

and she hates herself for it.

_"mama, are you ready?" she asked her._

the college studentclearly remembers how she never grew out of that phase. and how she still called her parents mama & papa. as a child she'd say it was because they were like bears. and they'd do anything to protect her. and damn it, she was right.

they spend the entire day together. her mom orders pizza and she's careful with everything. she's careful with el's short hair, she's careful with her dress and she's careful with her makeup. el doesn't care though. she's with her mom after months of hospitalization.

 _"okay. close your eyes. it's time for eyeliner... are you ready? my pulse might be bad. so i'm sorry if i mess up your eye makeup."_ terry says, but el shakes her head. she hasn't seen herself in the mirror but she was sure that she looked stunning. she had seen pictures of her mom in her younger days and she swore that she was the prettiest girl in hawkins.

 _"you won't."_ she confirms and her eyes are bright. extremely bright. she's hopeful for the future and el almost wants to hit herself in the back of the head. **_it doesn't get better. it doesn't get better at all._**

_"do you remember prom?" she asks, her eyes squeezed shut. she can't see the exchange of smiles that her parents send each other._

_"your dad didn't go to prom with me. he went with joyce."_

_"will's mom?" she questions, once again and she nods._

_"joyce and your dad were best friends. i wasn't going to ruin their tradition."_ her mom answers, combing her hair thoroughly and el laughs. her eyes are still closed. as a teen, she didn't know that her parents had broken up long ago. that hopper had turned into her best friend and was taking care of terry now that she was in the last of stages of her illness.

her pulse was weak. but she didn't mind it.

her eyeliner didn't match either.

but that was okay.

her mom did it and she liked it.

 _"oh ellie. they don't match."_ her mom frowns and el can't help the shake of her head. she doesn't care. she's so ecstatic and she can feel the minutes until mike knocks on that door.

_"it's okay! i like it."_

_"no, no. let's fix it." terry insists._

_"mama, it''s okay."_ the excited high schooler says. she's smiling brightly but present day el, can't help the tears that are pooling in her eyes. she feels herself drowning in her own tears as she keeps watching the scenes that are unfolding infront of her.

 _"you look so pretty."_ her mom says with a bright smile. _"are you sure that you don't want to fix your makeup?"_

she's instantly shaking her head.

 _"no. you did it. i don't want to change anything about it."_ she confesses and el wishes those days could come again. she wishes that she could go back to high school and that she could spend more time with her mom. el wished that she could turn back time and heal the wounds inside of her heart. she wished that she could talk to her mom about everything that was going on.

hopper eventually comes in and he's in awe. he's wearing his uniform still but he's staring at his daughter in absolute awe. she looks like the princesses in the picture books that she'd make him read as kids.

_"you look so stunning, ellie."_

_"thank you, papa."_

the doorbell rings and she knows that it's mike. that's why she's instantly looking at the mirror. she looks pretty. and she thinks that the eyeliner gives her an unique flare. she really does.

"ready?" hopper asks and she nods.

he opens the door and in mike wheeler fashion, he's speechless. which isn't surprising. she looks gorgeous. the, now, el, is only spectating with tears down her face. she misses moments like these.

_"el... wow."_

_"you look pretty wow, yourself."_ she retorts and she hates how much of a high schooler she sounds. but then again... she wasn't good with the dating thing.

 _"you both look dashing! i have to take a picture."_ she says, standing too quick and she's almost breathless. hopper has her back, but it doesn't go unnoticed by el.

el's crying in her sleep. mike doesn't notice it at first, deep in his thoughts but he hears it when he snaps out of them. he's turning to the other and there's water down her eyes.

he's turning to the other.

he switches into the emergency lane and he's shaking her awake. he's trying at least. she stirs at first, almost in confusion and she doesn't even realize where she is. it takes her a second to even realize that she's present in the moment.

"el. you're crying. are you okay?" he questions and she's blinking her tears away. at least the last of them.

she's forcing a smile on her face but it doesn't work. it doesn't work for him and it doesn't work for her.

"i had a dream about my mom." she confesses, her voice cracking. mike doesn't hesitate to unbuckle his seat-belt and wrap his arms around the crying girl.

prom was a bittersweet experience for them. they had fun at one point of the night, but then it felt like el only remembered that she was going back to an empty home. then it got bad. troy had spiked the punch bowls and el doesn't even remember how much she drank. at one point, eleanor remembers talking about mike and about how she had a boyfriend.

_"is she okay?" max questioned and el is obviously gone with the wind. then again, most of the seniors were. she was dancing with suzie, shoes off and she was awful at it. her beautiful curls were long gone and she simply held exhaustion._

_"i don't know." mike answers. "she's going to be home alone when she goes back and i feel like she's trying to forget about that."_

_"do you want me to-" max asks but mike shakes his head._

_"she's staying in nancy's room. i already talked with my mom."_

that summer is when el goes unhinged. or so her dad. that's the summer where her mother passes away and she's left with nothing but a void in her chest. she's left with the want of having her mom in her arms and the feeling of being unwanted.

her mother passing away awoke too many emotions in her system and she felt like she was an absolute bother to everybody. she defended on alcohol, on cigarettes, on cheap thrills. all behind mike's back at a point.

el never got a chance to heal.

el never got a chance to be herself.

and she's unsure if she's crying because she doesn't know who she is

or,

because she misses her mother dearly.


	15. Chapter 15

after their detour, they're finally back on the road. el's eyes eyes are swollen and she's wrapped in one of mike's jackets. he had it slung on the backseat and for once, he was thankful that he didn't pick up his messy ass car. it's no longer the afternoon and it's obvious that their detour took some time. she couldn't stop crying and blabbering about her mom. she thought it was blabber. but mike couldn't help but listen to her with ears wide open.

mike cracked jokes about el listening to sad songs when she was sad had the exact same energy as washing your car when it was raining out. she'd laugh, but she knew that it was true. and right now, it really was. she was holding her phone in her hand, listening to one of harry styles' many heartbreaking songs and he knew that he had to do something.

they were already in the outskirts of hawkins and he knew that if hopper saw that his only daughter was crying, mike would be a dead man. so, he reached for her phone and decided to change it up. she didn't complain though. she was too tired and too sad to even utter a word.

one eye on the road and another on the library, until his speakers are blasting with an awful cover of god's plan. that instantly catches el's hear. one, they were obviously kids. two, mike wheeler didn't like drake. three, he absolutely hated this song. she remembers when lucas and dustin would play this every single day; and he'd roll his eyes.

"mike, what are we listening to?"

"kids bop."

"why?"

"because... i like them." he forces through his teeth and el shakes her head. she doesn't want to laugh but it's so funny. it's obvious that he hates every single thing about this.

"mike rock lover... likes kids bop?"

"yes. i like them. sometimes i'm getting ready for class and i listen to them." he says and he sounds so monotone that it makes her laugh. mike's such an idiot. an idiot that she's absolutely in love with. she's quiet for a second but then mike breaks the silence again. "i'm sorry but this sounds worse than dustin's singing. do you remember when he was obsessed with that never ending story song?"

"oh my god." el laughs, "he wasn't that bad. come on."

he throws her a look and she's giggle. they're eventually listen to more songs and they're even clowning the singers. mike mocks their high notes and el can't help but laugh a little too hard at his antics. her eyelashes are still wet and she still can hear her mom in the back of her head, but it's nice to be distracted.

"these are children, eleanor. we're bullies." mike comments and that earns an obvious reaction from el. her mouth is covered in a gasp and her brown eyes are wide. eleanor was wonky in her studies and was currently studying basic classes since she had no idea what to study. but she did lean towards being a care taker for younger children.

"oh my god. i forgot about that."

"what a great future caretaker we have here!" mike tsks and she nudges him gently. she can start seeing the familiar sights of hawkins. the sights that she'd run with her friends and the sights she'd see with mike clasped by her side. she loved this little town. she really did.

"you were making fun of them too." she puffs.

"i'm going to be a writer. i can clown children. haven't you heard of stephen king? i'm pretty sure he hates the kids from derry." mike says and he's such a loser. she remembers when he was obsessed with the movies and read the books way too many times in the weekend.

"oh god, please shut up. we're not going through this phase again."

he laughs, but doesn't let it go. "do you remember when it came out and people said that i looked like richie?"

"yes, i was one of those people."

he hums. "wonder what he looks like now."

"richie's alone and eddie's dead." she reminds him and he laughs at her words.

"i meant the actor!" mike laughs loudly.

"oh."

before they know it, they're infront of the byers-hoppers residence. the house isn't much difference than when she left but she can see the small patches of joyce in it. she can see some flowers infront of her home and she knows that hopper mentioned about joyce trying out gardening as a hobby. he also mentioned stepping on her flowers and buying new ones.

she's staring at the house where dreams were made of and she takes a small breath. she's opening the door to the street and mike's scattering to help with her suitcase. she hasn't been in her home for a long while and she feels like there's so many feelings in the pit of her stomach.

"thanks for the ride." she says when she finally gathers her thoughts and stands on the street. she's giving him a gentle smile and it's genuine. she's exhausted. there's been so many emotions awoken in her the past few weeks that it feels like tonight was the day that she was going to unwind all of them.

"it's no problem."

she doesn't know why, but she's wrapping her arms around him. it's a simple hug but it seems to comfort the tears that want to spill out. it's her thanking him for keeping her together and he wraps his arms around her waist. there's no need for words. none at all.

she pulls back from the hug and she's caught staring at him. she wants to kiss him. and she almost does. he's leaning down and she's on her tip toes, but soon they're interrupted.

"eleanor, i know you're not kissing anybody on my street are you?" her dad shouts, making the two of them pull apart and instead of an annoyed expression. there's a smile on her face. if there was anything she was excited about, it was seeing her dad again.

"papa." she whispers, turning to face him and she's rushing to meet her dad. el didn't really grow much compared to mike. she was still the overexcited girl that liked eggos and watching movies when it was too late at night. she's wrapping her arms around him and she's hugging the hell out of him.

he's planting a kiss on her head and mike can see joyce in the background. she has a smile on her face and she can also see will, who has a smile on his face as well.

"you're late, wheeler." will teases and mike rolls his eyes. of course he'd say something like that.

she doesn't cry, but she's close to tears. she's smiling once again and she's hugging her stepmom tightly too. hopper reaches for the pink suitcase in michael's hands.

"thanks for bringing her home, wheeler. now, go. you won't see her for a few days."

"papa." el says, laughing.

"i didn't lie. you're all ours now. i missed my kid."

there's a few jokes exchanged, el shoots him a wave,

and mike leaves. 

minutes later, el throws him a text.

"thank you, mike. i promise i'll see you soon."


	16. Chapter 16

when the college student is walking in her old home, it's seven o'clock. she smells the familiar scent of benny's diner and she assumes that it's time for dinner. it's obviously take out but she's pretty sure that she wants to impress will's boyfriend. at least a little. that makes her smile. she's watching how all of them are talking, laughing and she doesn't know why she doesn't feel part of the conversation. she sees them, but she can see fragments of her mother too. she feels a heavy chest and she wants to forget. so, she simply sits by the dinner table with them. 

the table that was always for two, was now set for five. it was hopper, joyce, will, his boyfriend alex and finally her. jonathan had said that he'd eventually visit in the week so they weren't exactly expecting him anytime soon. the table is quiet at first, but soon the conversation flows without a doubt. she's quiet, but smiles when somebody cracks a smile. alex is a charmer, they hadn't hung out a lot but he definitely complemented will well. he talked for the both of them and it was cute. she watched how will stared at alex with glowing eyes. he was in love.

"what are you studying, alex?" joyce asks him and el is playing with the chicken on her plate. she feels like a child. there's so many thoughts in her head and she doesn't understand why. maybe it's because this was the same table she'd sit as a kid. she could tell by the faint marker scribbles on it and she remembers those days vividly.

"i'm studying to be an engineer." alex says with a wide smile. joyce and hopper are instantly surprised by his choice. he could've said anything but that. el doesn't really have much of a reaction towards it. she's seen everything on campus.

"how did you two even meet?" hopper questions, genuinely intrigued. el studies him. her dad was a gruff guy and he was rough around the edges, but he always meant well. she's learned that with the passing of time.

"will needed somebody to tutor them. he's awful at math."

that makes her laugh. of course, will wasn't awful at math. he probably pretended to be able to flirt with alex easier. which, if she was being honest, wasn't a bad move. it was actually quite excellent. she was pretty sure that max was the one that taught him that.

"anything to say, el?" will says, knocking that she knows the truth but she simply waves him off. alex takes notice of her laugh and redirects his attention to her.

"trust me, now i know he's not bad."

the entire dinner goes well and when it's time to do the dishes, that's when hopper corners her. he knows his little girl better than anybody in this world and he knew that something that had been bothering her the entire night. he can tell by how puffy her face was when they got there, she had been crying and she was out in the zone while scrubbing the dishes. he wasn't a dumbass. he was a cop for god's sake.

"are you okay? you were quiet." he asks and she jumps at his voice. when she realizes it's her dad, she's taking a small breath.

"god dad. you scared me." she says and she takes a few seconds. "i'm okay. i'm just tired."

he knows that she's lying.

"did you fight with wheeler? i can shoot him. i have a gun." he instantly says and el can't help the noise that leaves her mouth. she looks at him with wide eyes and soon, she's rinsing her hands off. she leans on the sink and shakes her head. regardless if they had fought, she wasn't going to let her dad murder anybody. jesus.

"what? no, no. dad. i'm fine. i just remembered mom and got upset. don't worry." she says with a small forced smile. she wasn't lying. she did miss her mother dearly and if she was honest, she didn't know how to answer the question regarding mike. because they did break up. but they were suddenly talking again. it was much more than that.

"oh..."

hopper sucked at comforting. he's scratching the back of his head, looking for the words and el instantly reassures him. she rests her hand on his shoulder, planting a kiss on his cheek and el's giving him a gentle smile. he was the best at cracking cases, but he was awful at words. the girl remembers the talk that her dad gave both of them and she felt guilty for laughing as a kid. but soon the three of them got on good terms and made the relationship work. 

"it's okay, dad. don't worry."

soon enough, she's walking to her room. 

there's pictures of her as a child and pictures of will as a child in the hallway. it's obvious that this tiny home was now theirs and it made her smile. but a part of her, remembers how her mother would chase behind her. she'd dress as a princess and her mother would try to keep up. those were the early stages of her illness and she, as a child, was absolutely blind to it.

her fingers lingers on the wall until she makes her way to her old bedroom. she can hear will laughing at hopper's jokes and she assumes that they're gathered around in the living room to watch a movie together. she knows she's invited but she doesn't feel good. she doesn't feel like the time is right. she wants to get settled into her bedroom and simply try to shake the funk she was in. she didn't want to gloom the mood with her thoughts. 

when she walks in her room and closes the door behind her. only to finally take intake of it.

her room was intact. her pastel yellow sheets are comfortable and there's a few boxes under her vanity. it's obvious that somebody cleaned her room because she hadn't left her room like this. at all. but she appreciated the effort. she sees how there's pictures and drawings of the party. she catches how there's a picture of her mom. she feels like a stranger in her own room. 

the girl makes her way to the vanity, sitting infront of the white vanity and she reaches for one of the secret cabinets. she pulls the crooked drawer and she knows that her dad wouldn't ever notice about this. when she opens the drawer, there's old cigarette packets and old burnt college applications. she feels her throat run dry and there's so many memories. 

el wasn't going to college. she wasn't going to do anything with her life. she felt like terry passing away left a void in her chest and it's a void that she felt like she ignored. eleanor ignored it for her friends, for mike, for her dad. she didn't want to be a burden. but she also didn't want to realize that her mother was finally gone.

and now it feels like it's finally sinking it.

el reaches for the old cigarettes packs and she's opening them to peek inside. most of them are empty while others simply have one or two cigarettes resting. it's a hawkins brand, discontinued and she's sighing. she's closing the boxes, throwing it in again and she's closing the drawer.

the boxes caught her eye and she's soon looking through them. 

the first box only has a bunch of old comics. max had gifted them to el after remodeling her room. billy had finally moved out and max didn't feel the need for her old comics anymore. but el knew her best friend. and she knew that she'd ask for them back. 

**"max, you can take them home." el laughs. her best friend was sleeping over and she was reading over the comics again. her eyes are wide and she's surprised. even though she's read them about a hundred times.**

**"no! i don't want them."**

she smiles at the memories and she's pushing the first box aside. the second box makes her laugh a little to loud. the second box is full of souvenirs. if anybody looked through, they would've thrown it away. but she would never. el has lucas' wrist rocket, dustin's shirt from camp, mike's sweater and will's dnd board. she kept it since all of them were throwing it away and she had zero intention of wasting memories. this was the box where she kept her boys.

the girl smiles widely and she pushes the box away. she finally reaches the last one.

and heart drops.

it's her prom box.

there's pictures and the old makeup that the girl had used. she can see her worn dress and her dirty worn heels. her delicate fingers reaches for the soft pink fabric and she feels herself being thrown into the past. she's seventeen and she's dress shopping with her mom. she had skipped school that day just for this. and she loved every second of it.

**"el, your dress! this is perfect!" terry says in absolute awe.**

**"do you think so?" there's curiosity on her tongue.**

**"i know so!" she smiles widely and her cheeks turn red.**

she stood from the chair and she's raising the dress to her eye-level.

el doesn't remember what happened most off her prom. there's pictures of her dancing and losing it. she looked happy the first pictures, but the second one, to those that actually knew her, she looked distracted. she looks like she's trying to busy her mind. 

she doesn't know when she starts crying.

the brunette sits on her bed and she's holding the dress on her lap. she's holding it to her chest and she's crying into the fabric. the girl tries to be quiet because she doesn't want to ruin her family's day but she still cries. she cries and it's like she's pouring her entire soul out. 

eventually she throws the dress to the side and she's crying into her hands. she feels like there's oceans coming out of her eyes and she wished that she could heal her wounds. she wish that she could cure her broken heart. now that she's crying, she realizes how she's never healed properly. how she's always hid behind everybody and she was pushed into college without even wanting. she just didn't want to be left alone in that house and she didn't want to be left behind. el didn't want her friends to keep running into the future and eventually leave her behind. 

there's a knock of her door and it's so faint that she knows who it is. the girl instantly wipes her tears and she pretends to look at the glued papers on the wall. 

"come on in!" she says, hating how broken she sounds. 

the door cracks open and she expects a squeak on her bed. but instead, 

"i'm going to smoke. do you want to join?"

joyce's voice surprises her. the girl turns around to face her and she can see the soft smile on her face. it's comforting and she doesn't know why she feels so safe. she has a cigarette carton in her hand and el furrows her eyebrows. that only earns joyce's comment. 

"i cleaned your room. your little drawer isn't that hidden." joyce says, laughing gently and that makes el smile small. she nods at her words, passing the dress and eventually following the older woman past the living room. they were now in the backyard and el was comforted by the fact that her dad wouldn't be able to hear anything. 

joyce sits on one of the chairs and eventually, el follows lead. the oldest one instantly grabs one of her cigarettes and this time, el does the same. 

eleanor didn't smoke. she hadn't smoked in a long time. but this was something that she felt like she needed in her bones. she needed to decompress. joyce lights up both of their cigarettes and she eventually leans back on the chair. 

"do you think papa is going to come find us?" el questions and joyce only shakes her head. she takes a drag of her cigarette and blows the smoke to the other side. she expected joyce to freak out when she said yes to the cigarette offer. but she forgot that she was an adult and that joyce saw her like that. 

"hopper told me to check on you. will and you are almost the same." she says. "both of you hide from the world to not bother others with your feelings. thankfully i'm here. for both of you." 

el appreciates it, but she doesn't say anything. she only takes a drag of her cigarette and doesn't say a word. she doesn't know what to say. she doesn't know if she should keep crying or keep smoking. she doesn't know what she's feeling inside. 

"mike and you broke up. will told me." she says with a frown and el nods. 

the college student doesn't have the nerve to fight back. eleanor was tired of hiding it from everybody. "we did. it was a few weeks back."

"but he brought you home." joyce says, unsure. el nods. 

"he did. will and alex left ahead."

"no. no... he brought you home. why?"

el finally understands the question.

"because i love him. i love him so much." she confesses, this time she takes a drag and she's trying not to cry. "i love him but i'm scared."

joyce has a comfortable aura. she's suddenly breaking out in confessions and tears.

"i lost my mom, joyce." she starts and she throws the cigarette in the ashtray. "i lost my mom after prom and i couldn't handle it. you saw it. cigarettes, university applications, and i felt like i busied myself and didn't let myself heal from that. it's been barely three years and now, is when i'm feeling the hole in my chest. i feel sick to my stomach. i can't feel anything but pain lately."

"i don't know if that's what brought this wave of insecurity. this fear of being left behind. i feel like a joke. i'm twenty-one years old and i'm still taking stationary classes because i can't decide what i want to study. i'm wasting my time and my life in that college. when i don't even know if i like it. i don't even know if i should be studying. i don't think i should be. the party is almost done with their degrees and i'm still staggering. i'm still tumbling."

"then mike, he looks over his shoulder. he looks at pretty girls and he tells me that he wants to venture. he didn't tell me verbally, but he told me through his eyes. and i broke up with him. and i don't know why. i don't why i linger. i don't know why i think about it so much. i don't know why everything is going down the drain. i'm a good person, joyce."

el is sobbing again but this time it's from pent emotions. she doesn't know how much she's cried tonight and she doesn't know why she keeps crying. but she needs this. she needs this therapeutic moment. and she's glad that she's with joyce. 

who speaking of, rests her hand on her arm and gives her a tender smile. 

"el. it's okay to take a break. it's okay to take a break from college and sometimes it's okay to be behind from everybody. stop comparing yourself and stop trying to catch up to everybody. we all heal at different times and at different speeds. my dad passed away when i was really young and i got over it extremely quick. while my sister, lingered. it doesn't mean that i loved him any less... do you understand what i'm trying to say?"

el sees blurs but she nods. 

"forget about college, forget about mike and forget about everything that doesn't bring you peace. you need to heal. you need to heal your heart and then you can take on the world. you can't fight the whole world by yourself and sometimes you need help. and that's okay." 

she sniffles. 

there's silence and soon, el opens up.

"would you mind if i came back home?"

there's a tender smile on her face and she's shaking her head. she plants a kiss on her forehead caringly. el feels that motherly love ooze from her and she can’t help but pick up her sobbing.

"this house is your home, el."


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, it's here! i was really skeptical to even write this since... the colorful comments i got in the past really took away the passion and love i had for writing and even for mileven. but i'm pushing past that and giving you guys this. i'm genuinely happy with this and i hope you guys are too. sometimes love doesn't work at first, but it doesn't mean it won't work out in the end. thank you guys all for reading this and for being extremely kind to me. to noDownSide, thank you for all of your comments and thank you for always being the reason that i kept writing this fic! i hope you all enjoy it and expect (maybe) another fic in the future.

when the twenty-one year old comes back from her spring break, she instantly drops out of her courses and quits the flaky job she had. she goes to a councilor who informs her about the possibility of studying in the future and that's what seals the deal. when she drops the bomb to the entire party, they're all taken aback. even mike, who thought knew her more than anybody in the world. max, being the fastest to react, hugs her tight and hopes that she's doing what makes her happy. she could see at times how el struggled with everything going on. it doesn't take more than two days for her to pack up and maya offered to drive her home. but el declines, knowing that maya has an interest towards her that she couldn't return.

instead, she calls for her dad.

while the party are stressing about finals and progressing with their degrees, the brunette takes her time to take care of herself. she goes back to hawkins with her parents and instantly wrote herself up for therapy. it took long months, but it helped. it slowly helped the hole of insecurity in her chest. she slowly started dreaming again too. she even cuffed a job at a small gardening shop and she was slowly falling in love with everything again. she didn't feel flaky like she did while she was at college. she felt somewhat comforted and her emotions felt stable too.

el and mike never got together.

at least not during this period of time.

they're extremely good friends. that's without a doubt. the party never parts and they're always together. they slowly get to see the cheerful side of el that terry knew and loved. and neither of them had to say that it wasn't the time to be together. she doesn't date anybody and he doesn't date anybody either. he keeps his word as well. never once stopping with the greeting texts and even facetiming her constantly. they'd smile at each other, a quiet i love you every single time.

the party, now, years later were gathered around at will's apartment. alex and him had moved in the outskirts of hawkins and were now simply getting ready for their wedding. the six of them were now gathered around in a circle and they were all celebrating el's graduation. she was now twenty-six and officially, graduated college. she had a degree in nursing and she was going to do everything in her power to take care of those in their final moments.

there's champagne spilling and she's clapping excitedly. everybody has a glass of champagne, but neither of the girls are drinking. el barely took a sip from mike's glass but then retorted how she was going to drive home while max simply rests her hand on her stomach. el's graduation ironically fell on the day of will's bachelor party. the duo found it hilarious, claiming how they were bound by the universe and were biological siblings in another life.

"are you excited, will? i couldn't stop thinking about the wedding and woke up every single day counting the days." lucas asks, sipping from the glass and it's like they never grew up. they were still the over-excitedly teenagers that they've always been. this time just older. his words earn a pout from a very emotional max and he's planting a kiss on her lips. pregnancy had made the spitball soft. she would even tell mike he meant the world to her. it was a strange yet endearing.

"gross. some of us are single, lucas." dustin says, rolling his eyes and at this time; it's almost a joke. his band glisters and out of the six of them, he was the one that got married first. he had proposed to suzie the second that she graduated. her degree took slightly longer than his and he felt like the proposal couldn't have been done at any other time.

"says the one who got married and didn't invite us." mike teasingly adds. dustin and suzie decided to take a flight to las vegas and get married without a second thought. it was simply them and the elvis presley dressed priest. they eventually did get married by papers, but at the moment it was extremely fun and an adrenaline rush for the both of them. the lanky writer had his arm slung over el's shoulders and he was sipping the champagne for the both of them.

it took them a while, but eventually they got together. the break time was much needed between the two of them. it finally felt like they were seeing each other eye to eye and they were actually mature enough to understand so much about the world now. things that they wouldn't have when they were twenty-one and twenty-two.

"yeah! didn't you think we wanted to see our little man getting hitched? especially to the girl that made you sing..." will starts and dustin throws him a dirty look. he knows where he was going with this and he wasn't flattered by it.

"will, i won't hesitate to kill you. i don't care that you're getting married in a week." dustin says and that makes the entire party burst out in laughter. especially will.

as time passes, the graduation party gradually turns into the bachelor's party and that's the girls cue to leave. not to mention that both of them were absolutely exhausted. el because of early graduation activities and max because of the human growing inside of her. they shared a look and that was their cue. el had invited her to stay over the hopper-wheeler apartment and max instantly said yes. their sleepovers throughout the years matured, but it was still the giddiness when they were kids. they were most likely going to look at baby catalogs and max was going to cry over how happy she was in her life. that made a smile appear on her face.

the party was finally happy and she felt herself being happy as well.

"el, el." mike says and she's listening to his words. max was saying her goodbyes and el had blanked out in the middle of her conversation with mike. which wasn't surprising at all, her meds did that sometimes. "did you hear what i said? call me when you get home and lock the doors when you get home. all of them. from the front doors to the back-doors."

"i will." she says after he reminds her of every single thing. "ca-"

"if anything happens, call your dad. then call me, okay?" mike says and she's nodding at his words. he worried so much about her and while she could pretend that it annoyed her, she genuinely found it endearing. she loved when he cared for her.

mike and el got together after his graduation. he had drove home a few days afterwards and the brunette couldn't help her excitement when it came to seeing her best friend for the first time in a while. he remembers surprising her at her shop and how she cried even though she had seen him a few days prior. eventually, things turned for the better and he asked her out again. he had taken her to a field of fireflies and asked her out with anxiety on his tongue and she said yes. and it had been perfect ever since.

"i will. i promise."

"and if max goes into la-" he says and that's what make her laugh.

"mike, oh my god. breathe in." el laughs at his words. "nothing will go wrong. plus, i'm a nurse. i know what to do. come on... can i leave now? max has yawned four times already." she whines.

"okay, okay. you're right." he brushes his hair to the side and he's holding her face adoringly. he wouldn't tell her but losing her for those years, made him realize how in love he was with her. and how much she meant to him and how he was thankful for this other chance. even if it came many years later. "i love you, text me, okay?"

"i love you more." she says, almost on her heels but he pulls her into a hug. it's tight and it's one of appreciation. he hadn't drank that much already had he?

"i love you, el hopper." he whispers into her hair, kissing the top of her head and she only responds.

"i love you more, mike wheeler."


End file.
